Thursday, April 30, 2009


chrisd: desalination with selective ion transport membranes
spruce: aw yeeeah, that's what I'm talking about!
liquidindian: Phwoar.
liquidindian: "membranes"
chrisd: phwoar indeed, i'm going home in celebration.
plummer: and drink a glass of salt water
chrisd: mmmm
cheesoning: man, I was desalinating selective ion transport membranes in 2004.
spruce: don't clog those transport membranes
plummer: I desalinate in milliseconds
chrisd: we only clog 'em with zinc buildup in one of our batteries-- they're cool shit though
cheesoning: oh wait, no. I was salinating random ion transport membranes. It's been a while.
spruce: Important distinction
cheesoning: I had to look at my plaque to remember
Niteowl: I was desalinating back when they didn't even know what salt was. *sigh*. It makes me sad that no one does desalination for REAL anymore.
plummer: you desalinate? I can disregard it. Shrug.
spruce: desalination dilettantes
liquidindian: Sigh. Desalinators have been broken since they became selective.
chrisd: someone better post this to ratherdepressing
cheesoning: Yo, dawg, I heard you liked desalinated memes in your meme so I prailined your dick
chrisd is now known as chrisd | gonehome
liquidindian: You went too far, cheese.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Wait, where?

liquidindian: Blockbuster goes through my head every time I get... the northern line in London.
liquidindian: Or the Picadilly line.
liquidindian: Whichever one goes to Cockfosters.
greenskpr: cockfosters eh...
cheesoning: what.
bigjimslade: Niteowl's spideysense is tingling, I bet
cheesoning: not his spideysense. His sack is probably tingling.
liquidindian: There are ruder places on the London tube.
greenskpr: I bet Frohman One would rather be dirving his ass to a place called cockfosters instead of concord
liquidindian: Mudchute, for one.
cheesoning: driving his ass to mudchute
bigjimslade: right around the corner from Cockfosters?
cheesoning: this will definitely be flagged by my HR group
chrisd: 48:20 is the infamous toyota parked on the spectator's car
bigjimslade: via Taintwithers


[chrisd] 48:20 is the infamous toyota parked on the spectator's car
[cheesoning] I saw that happen IRL once, Chris
[Frohman One] cockfosters
[chrisd] yeesh
[cheesoning] my buddy had a corolla, lost control on a country road, went down the culvert and up onto the flat
[cheesoning] He got a ride to a gas station and called me to pick him up
[cheesoning] I drove the same route and saw where he went off the road, his car, and a pickup truck on top of his car
[cheesoning] got to the station and said "You didn't tell me about the pickup truck"
[cheesoning] he said "what pickup truck?"
[cheesoning] but wait - there's more!
[cheesoning] so we drive back to the scene where there's a cop talking to the pickup driver (he went down the culvert but caught enough air to land on top of the Corolla)
[cheesoning] so we're talking to the cop - all of us - and another car comes down the road from the other direction, hits the ice, skids off the road, over the culvert, and into a house.
[cheesoning] The cop goes "Jesus. I'll be right back."
[greenskpr] what the fuck cheese
[Frohman One] the car is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE
[cheesoning] and here's me with the FWD pickup (NO TRACTION) driving everyone home.

Monday, April 27, 2009


itchy: speaking of 9/11 ... i got into the most bizarre conversation with a buddhist monk this weekend ... he was one of those conspiracy nuts and started telling me all the reasons the towers were a controlled demolition ... in reference to pearl harbor he also used the term "japs" and i'm pretty sure he swore a few times ... he may also have been drunk
norman: I was tired and emotional
niteowl: i thought arabs weren't allowed to drink?
niteowl: then again, Fire in the Disco norman drinks nothing but martinis. so...
itchy: ha
norman: damn you itchy I shaved my pencil thin moustache
spruce: was he a white monk, or like, an actual Tibetan?
itchy: white
norman: poser
spruce: of course white monk sounds like a Final Fantasy class
itchy: totally
itchy: part of the extended family i'm proud to tell ya
spruce: are you sure he wasn't just a crazed derelict wearing orange drapes?
itchy: he's my wife's mother's cousin
itchy: i know nothing about his past, although i am certain it is shady
spruce: Is he the shame of her family?
itchy: i don't think so
spruce: who just shows up at the reunions for the free food?
itchy: and booze
itchy: yeah, he had the whole orange robe thing goin
spruce: "what are these, velvet? Very nice..."

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Well, Yeah, You Would Be

(12:01:12 PM) norman: confamused
(12:01:43 PM) cheesoning: itchy's net nanny filter kept kicking him when the word lube appeared in the chat
(12:01:44 PM) itchy: had to be there ... only works in realtime
(12:01:58 PM) itchy: but it was a fraud
(12:02:23 PM) cheesoning which thereby caused everyone to use the word, which caused a near accident
(12:02:26 PM) itchy: i would never get any work done if my computer shut down every time i typed lube
(12:02:57 PM) cheesoning: and you'd be dry as hell


***Niteowl gets the lube ready
itchy left the room (Disconnected).
cheesoning: I had an old VGA cam connected to my laptop
cheesoning: whoa - it wasn't that bad, itchy.
itchy entered the room.
itchy: niteowls last comment kicked me offline
Niteowl: of.. grayskull?
itchy: i have net nanny on this machine, it sees "lube" and shuts down the machien
cheesoning: haha
chundo: fuck that
spruce: easy now! The net nanny!
chundo: just testing it!
chundo: it appears to have some holes in it!
spruce: holes that need lubing
itchy left the room.
cheesoning: so that band was together 10 years, then split up
chundo: hahaha
spruce: haha
cheesoning: this was the five year reunion
itchy entered the room.
itchy: stop it!
cheesoning: hahahaha
cheesoning: lubing
chundo: lube lube lube
itchy left the room.
cheesoning: hahahahahahaha
cheesoning: holy shit, I'm gonna pee
itchy entered the room.
itchy: whoa, that last one almost borked it

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Goldie. Goldie HAWN.

pfc__work: hey niteowl, what is benjing a thread?
Niteowl: i can't remember
Niteowl: either when you theorycraft a game until it's a desiccated husk of lame, all excel spreadsheet up it's hoo ha
Niteowl: OR
pfc__work: well, there's that
pfc__work: I know that
Niteowl: when one has 'beaten the systems' by a strat so min-maxed and optimized that one wants to untinstall steamand uninstall life.
pfc__work: but when you said the double benjing a thread and enkiwaing a thread
Niteowl: OR when someone, goldie, usually, mentions they have done either the latter or the former
Frohman: let's add dueying a thread
Frohman: where you take words and randomize them
BeerFilter: hah
pfc__work: I'm not taking offense or anything
Niteowl: it's vaguely annoying goldie. vaguely. which may draw invectives from random mefighters. because it sounds so ridonkulous
pfc__work: wow
pfc__work: no
Frohman: er, goldie?
Niteowl: enkiwaing... i think that's just flat out boasting above what one would ever do in polite society
JDHarper: who is goldie?
Niteowl: HAWN
Niteowl: jesus keep up you plebs.
pfc__work: url
Frohman: oh
Niteowl: oh, in that case, it was enki talking about himself in a fan-fawningly attentive way that makes me suspect he stalks HIMSELF
pfc__work: was that a proper benji though?
pfc__work: I was amusingly puzzled
Niteowl: i can't recall what i referring to there

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

PBBH Sammich

betaray: Man, I'm eating like a king
spruce: What are you having?
Niteowl: a small peasant
betaray: Peanut butter, banana and honey sandwich with a big glass of chocolate milk
chrisd: FUCK that sounds good
Niteowl: did you confuse King with Adorable 4 Year Old?


Niteowl: classy
cheesoning: maybe the paradigm needs to shift. What could these things be called besides video games? Video RAGE INDUCERS? Video RIGHTS TO BUGLESS CONTENT NOW? Video I KNOW I SAID MILK BEFORE BUT NOW I WANT MOUNTAIN DEW, MOM!?
cheesoning: also, the word fuck has lost its impact.
spruce: I know. People at the National Profanity Institute need to research some new cusses.
liquidindian: Frak.
cheesoning: I like Fie.
gordonfrohman: flip
Niteowl: cock mangler
chrisd: billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles
Niteowl: VISUAL there chrisd
chrisd: Niteowl:
chrisd: there's a fuckin' list for ya
liquidindian: cuntybollocks
spruce: Republican
cheesoning: whoa, nice shot, liquid!
cheesoning: hahahah
chrisd: Cachinnating cockatoo! Cannibals! Carpetsellers! Caterpillars! Centipede! Cercopithecus! Coelcanth! Colocynths! Corsair! Cowards! Crabapples! Cro-Magnon! Crooks! Cushion footed quadrupeds! Cyclotron!
spruce: Way to republican that up!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Authoring Omegle

You: Hi! I'm a writer, I need some ideas! Help me!
Stranger: you can write about me!
You: OK! Tell me about you!
You: My literary career is in your hands.
Stranger: umm.. im perfect and lovely and pretty and hot and wise and clever
You: Nice!
Stranger: u could write a book
Stranger: about how perfect i am
You: Have you had many experiences with dinosaurs or robots? These are key touchpoints in the my readership demographic. :/ I need to insure that they are satisfied with my product.
You: or do you have any problems with me inserting dinosaurs, robots, or some sort of melange of the two in the tale of your life.
Stranger: erm
Stranger: i havent really met dinosaurs
Stranger: or robots
You: er "in the my" of course means "in my"... I am not necessarily the best writer, as you can see. But I am trying.
Stranger: but if they worship its okay
You: worship... you?
Stranger: naturally!
You: Or worship something else. AHA! I see! Excellent.
Stranger: no. they've gotta worship ME!!
You: But there is the small problem that neither robots nor dinosaurs have souls. Robots being automatons. And dinosaurs being beasts of the earth. What do they gain by worshipping you?
Stranger: im the queen!
Stranger: they gain nothing. ill gain power!!
You: Yes, but there must be something they get.. otherwise why worship?
Stranger: oh
Stranger: why cant they be slaves?
You: Well they can, obviously. That's what robots are made for, are they not?! Ha ha ha!
Stranger: exatcly. so then they dont have to get anything
You: However, if they are to worship, that tends to mean that they require some sort of quid-pro-quo for their spiritual devotion, does it not? Much like people worship the Jesus figure in order to make their way into Heaven. Or Tom Cruise to fight the evil within their bodies.
You: Hm, what a conundrum.
Stranger: you see. they wanna be my slaves cos im so awesome and perfect
You: I'm sorry! I don't believe this will work.
Stranger: :(
You: I see no tragedy.
You: You are too perfect.
You: Where is the drama. Where is the emotion. Where is the HUMANITY?!
Stranger: i can have sister whos complete bitch :(
You: AHA! Genius!! Perfect!
You: A Loki to your Thor!
Stranger: she is trying to steal my crown :(
You: Tell me of your sister, so I may construct!
You: That harlot!
You: Go on.
You: What is her biggest flaw.
Stranger: she can be freakish bitch whos envious of my perfect looks and wisdom
Stranger: envy
You: Her biggest flaw must be in proportion to your greatest boon.
You: Ah, classic! Shakespearean.
You: Does she have a hunchback? She must have a hunchback!
Stranger: nooo!
You: Hm. Not even a little one?
Stranger: she must be almost as pretty as me.
Stranger: so ill hate her too
You: Ah. I see. So close, yet tragically so far.
Stranger: i know :)
You: I admit. I feel for her. Perhaps all her evil is not evil at all.. just a longing for the affection you were given, yet she was denied.
Stranger: she is trying to steal my perfect prince too :(
You: Again, to find the love she so desires yet never enjoyed.
You: We are losing the robot and dinosaur angle though.
Stranger: if she wouldnt be so jealous and mean she might gain the things too
You: Ah.. gain the robots and dinosaurs?!
Stranger: why there cant be vampires??
You: Well obviously the dinosaurs are vampires. I thought you understood that.
Stranger: and there has to be tragic love story
Stranger: right. sorry wasnt sure
You: Oh yes. You stole the prince from your sister. And she burns inside. BURNS for revenge.
Stranger: or the prince will end up being complete bastard that cheats me with my sisters so ill hook up with a vampire
You: A dinosaur vampire!
You: My readership will love it! My readership is a tad... selective.. in their romatic daydreams.
Stranger: :D
You: This is excellent!
Stranger: well thats sorted then
You: Yes!
You: I must tarry off and put words to paper!
You: Thank you so much!!!
Stranger: remember to give me 50 % of the profit
You: I shall!
Stranger: okay. good :)
You: Til next we meet! I remain, Dan Brown.

Omegle... Taste Of A New Generation

Stranger: its martijn from holland
You: So, Pepsi or Coke?
Stranger: cocaine?
Stranger: thats ok?
You: Oh hello, martijn! Oh no, of course not. I mean the soda. Beverages.
You: Coca-cola or Pepsi-Cola
Stranger: coca cola
You: I'm doing some field research for a leading soda manufacturer.
Stranger: ah
Stranger: i prefer coca cola
You: What is your favorite part of coca-cola?
Stranger: the bubbles in it
You: How would you describe the bubbles you experienced in your Coca-Cola Product?
Stranger: they where like a sort of gass
Stranger: it made me burp
You: Burping is fun! It is one of the best reasons for a delicious Coca-Cola brand product!
Stranger: haha
Stranger: i got to go
Stranger: bye
You: Ok! Please enjoy coca-cola products whenever you want to have a good time!
Stranger: will do
You: Coca Cola: Taste The Magic!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Omeagle : Guns, guns, guns!

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: Guns are peace keepers and Obama is a moron.
Niteowl what if obama had a gun?
Stranger: He kinda does, being the commander in chief and all.
Niteowl guns are peace keepers only insofar as the people who are wielding themare not complete idiots.
Niteowl most people ARE complete idiots, ergo, guns are not peacekeepers
Niteowl OTOH, most gun afficionados i know are pretty knowlegeable and level headed, i have no issue with them having guns
Stranger: well, the 52% of the americans that voted for Obama are complete idiots. So, I guess that's most.
Stranger: : )
Niteowl the problem is, they think all the people who buy guys are just like them
Niteowl reasonable and responsible
Niteowl which isn't the case
Stranger: But how do you sort them out? We have a way to keep the criminals from legally purchasing a gun.
Niteowl like, you go to the range and practice really well thought out gun safety, dud,e have as many guns as you want
Niteowl how do you sort out the idiots? no clue. target scores? ability to recite the Constitution?
Stranger: But most people are crappy drivers too, but we still give them a 2000+ lb weapon that kills more people than guns.
Stranger: I like the constitution part.
Niteowl it's far harder to get a car and go on a fucking crazy rampage of death
Stranger: actually, I think it's easier. You don't need a background check to buy a car.
Niteowl but saying there are stupid laws (stupid people can drive cars) doesn't mean there shouldnt be some way of sorting out stupid people from having guns
Niteowl it's like
Niteowl OH CRAP, this is total shit, lets just add to it
Stranger: But if you're not a criminal before you buy a gun, you likely won't be a criminal AFTER. Since you have to be 18 in most states, 21 in some. If you don't have a record by then, you probably won't.
Niteowl criminal doesn't mean you won't shoot your wife in a jealous rage, or that you're not an utter dillhole who doesn't keep his weapon locked up and ends up with a dead kid
Stranger: True, but a true jealous rage doesn't need a gun. Rope, twine, bare hands around the neck, baseball bats, all do the same.
Niteowl you can't twine your wife and three kids in any respectable amount of time
Niteowl lethality
Niteowl is the problem
Niteowl how about we have annual test for gun competence?
Stranger: More kids are killed by swimming pools every year than guns. So while tragic, it's really rare, and I'm not sure that changing the intent of the constitution is worth it?
Stranger: How would you test that?
Niteowl tons and tons of kids go swimming
Niteowl it's a ratio thing
Niteowl people get mad and go in jealous rages and get angry at their neighbours and lose their jobs
Stranger: There are 300 million guns legally in the US. That's a pretty big ratio of potential problems.
Niteowl they shouldn't haev a lethal weapon on hand to vent
Stranger: but how do you sort those out?
Niteowl do 300 million children play with guns and take classes in guns?
Niteowl the ratio analogy isn't apt
Niteowl i'm not sure how you sort those out
Niteowl maybe be like the swiss
Niteowl mandatory 1 year service, and everyone gets a rifle
Stranger: Nope, because almost all gun owners tell their kids not to play with them and instruct them on proper procedure if they find one.
Stranger: Those swiss are good shots, too.
Niteowl i dunno about the 'almost all gun owners' bit
Niteowl because most ppl are idiots
Niteowl i think we both agree on the problem, and i think we both agree there isn't a clear solution
Niteowl idiots shouldn't have guns
Niteowl but idiots not having guns shouldnt' keep responsible gun owners from having them
Stranger: But not all people have guns. I would venture a pretty safe guess that the ratio of idiots with guns are less than the ratio of idiots without (legal) guns.
Niteowl BUT, just because there are stupid laws (vis a vis cars) that shouldnt' be a reason for givving up on a gun solution
Niteowl i'm not going to agree on that point unless there are hard numbers
Stranger: Cars aren't a right in the Constitution, Guns are. That's the hard part.
Niteowl just because it was in the constitution, doesn't make it Word From God. the founding fathers are fallible
Niteowl maybe the founding fathers didn't think there'd be this many idiots
Stranger: Maybe not, but they left an ammendment process for us to follow. Should we have an "idiot" test on the first? I'm guessing most would fail. At least if I read the Opinion pages everyday. : )
Stranger: It doesn't make it the Word of God, but it does make it the law until it's changed.
Niteowl exactly, which means, just because it's in the constitution, doesn't mean it shouldn't be changed
Stranger: I'm not disagreeing with you on that. I'm just saying it hasn't been changed with regards to guns. So until it is, how do we deal with it?
Niteowl not sure
Niteowl make guns really fucking expensive?
Niteowl then that'd disciminate against a regular working guy
Stranger: Some are expensive (the really fun ones)
Stranger: The basic ones aren't "as lethal", and they are cheaper. Kinda have that already.
Niteowl yeah, the fun ones, how often are they used in every day murders? i'd wager almost never
Niteowl dead is dead
Stranger: Criminals are basically cowards. That's why they do what they do. If people started shooting back, I think less criminals would be inclined to shoot in the first place.
Stranger: You are correct. The expensive ones (assualt weapons) are used in less that 1% of all crimes.
Niteowl like, my impression, the people who buy those really rad military style weapons. they never use them for ill.
Niteowl saturday night special? SUPER DEADLY
Stranger: military style weapons are just fun to have, nobody uses them for ill.
Stranger: Saturday night specials are just a code word for "Small and Cheap". .38 caliber, usually.
Stranger: But that's all poor people can afford.
Stranger: That's the hard part.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Drink Of The Gods

spruce: Mountain Dew: Fuck, we won't even try to pretend this is a natural flavour.
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : I got your caffeine right here.
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : It's got the, whaddyacallit, Isotopes.
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : Source of 83% of all commercial software bugs.
spruce: Mountain Dew: Also good for barium enemas
spruce: haha. Nice, niteowl
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : Beats licking the sweat off a mountain lion's testicles.
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : It's either this or Fresca.
itchy: i like mountain dew
itchy: and sweaty lion balls
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : This colour of yellow-green TOTALLY occurs in nature. What.
spruce: Mountain Dew: Who wants to live forever?
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : It's not an addiction if you can get it legally.
Niteowl: Mountain Dew : Remember those great 80's commercials? So do -- OH LOOK A CAT.
itchy: Mountain Dew: Can't stop shaking long enough to open the next can.
Niteowl: HEH
spruce: Mountain Dew: Fellating your nerve endings TO THE EXTREME
Niteowl: HA
itchy: Mountain Dew: Your sweat should not be that color.
spruce: Mountain Dew: That crazy friend of yours no one likes who makes you do stupid things you regret years later prompting you to wonder why you still hang around this asshole.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Skin Deep

chundo: i really don't understand why people are going all ga-ga over that susan boyle lady
chundo: it wasn't that great a performance
chundo: i've had like 15 people forward the video to me though
Niteowl: she's ugly, chundo, very, very ugly
chundo: yeah, but still a mediocre singer
chundo: weird hype.
Niteowl: yes, she sucks bad
Niteowl: that Pots guy, he had pipes
spruce: It's because your average schmuck can't believe that ugly people can do anything worthwhile.
Niteowl: i mean, just look at chrisd
Niteowl: he has like, a job and everything
chrisd: yeah, i'm pretty and do nothing worthwhile. fuck you

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Shotguns, a Gentleman's Weapon

spruce: because he wouldn't share his ouzo
spruce: Discus Stu has ouzo for two-zo
metamonk: ha spruce
metamonk: trying to find the real-life autoshottie, went to Benelli website (vaguely remembered name from Rainbow 6: This time the brown people die)
metamonk: the flash intro makes me want to shoot something
gordonfrohman: my company won't let me look at weapons online
gordonfrohman: I probably just got flagged for consultation
gordonfrohman: also my google searches for "HOW DO I SHOT COWORKERS"
spruce: how is coworker shotted
chundo: only holds four shells?
itchy: kevlar+ammo+overnightdelivery+freeshipping
chundo: how are you supposed to hold off a zombie horde with four shells?
metamonk: getting out of a taxi yesterday the credit card reader clicked and a light flashed
metamonk: I asked the driver--did this thing just take my picture?
metamonk: he said, "NONONONOSIR only if you tamper with the video screen"
itchy: uhuh
metamonk: all I could see was myself as Michael Douglas in "Falling Down"
metamonk: I think they nerfed the autoshottie for civilian use
spruce: it doesn't work without the crewcut and the hornrims
metamonk: although the requirement that you clean a gun probably nerfs most civilian weapons
spruce: aren't shotguns dirt cheap? How come they're so expensive in CS?
chundo: well that autoshottie was $1400
spruce: but there's a plain shotgun too, isn't there?
metamonk: heard a banker prick talking about being measured for an english shotgun--25k
itchy: measured?
itchy: was he going to holster it inside his leg?
metamonk: I wanna start skeet shooting--haven't done it since I was a kid
metamonk: well, 20
spruce: so what do you mean measured, metamonk?
spruce: just sorta customised?
itchy: i'm guessing arm length comes into play
gordonfrohman: so he can easily fit the barrel in his mouth?
itchy: ha
spruce: hopefully
itchy: he is a banker
spruce: well a shotgun would be a bit awkward, but on the plus side, you don't have to aim so well either
itchy: the trigger guard needs to accommodate his big toe
metamonk: Purdey allegedly takes two years to build shotguns measured to your finger width, shoulder socket thickness, arm length, shooting posture, and I dunno--inverse penis size

Wednesday, April 8, 2009


gordonfrohman: now onto mashups
gordonfrohman: my god
gordonfrohman: makes me glad I have no hobbies
Niteowl: christ
Niteowl: how can these same ppl haggle on cosplayers
Niteowl: which takes infinitely more skill and quantum fucktons more balls?
Niteowl: cockwankers
gordonfrohman: because cosplayers are friggin dweebs
Niteowl: i probably shouldn't chat while listening to zero punctuation
Niteowl: they might be dweebs, but they're not insufferable ass sores festering with malignant fuckdouchery teetering on the precipice of OH MY FUCKING GOD I WANT TO SHOVE A BLUNT HAMMER THROUGH YOUR FUCKING BRAINSTEM YOU HUMOURLESS COCKWAD.
Niteowl: i'm not calling YOU, a humourless cockwad, gordonfrohman. just to be clear
gordonfrohman: I know I'm not humourless

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A Brief Foray Into Civility

(02:03:49 PM) Niteowl: interesting ideas on the IMF and WorldBank's stance on developing countries adhering to a de facto free market economies
(02:04:10 PM) Niteowl: while megalithic entities stick to cronyism and corporatism in developed nations?
(02:05:37 PM) gordonfrohman: don't try to class this chat up
(02:05:51 PM) Katya: the imf is farty
(02:05:57 PM) gordonfrohman: thank you
(02:06:00 PM) gordonfrohman: slut

Monday, April 6, 2009

Star Wars, by Frohman

[Frohman] The princess leaned over, her fun bags plopping out of her metal bikini. Salacious Crumb removed his trousers. "AHH HA AHAHAHAHAH" he said.
[Frohman] The princess removed her bikini bottom, exposing her untrimmed hooch. "Wow," Han said. "Talk about a walking carpet."
[Frohman] "It looks like a womprat is sitting in her lap," Luke agreed.
[Frohman] "BEEP BOOP MEEP MOOP MOOP BOP" Artoo added
[Frohman] "Keeyoto, keeyoto" that one dude who only ever says 'keeyoto" said
[Frohman] oh wait, that was her in disguise, huh. crap. the whole plot just fell apart.
[Frohman] much to all your dismay, I'm sure
[C] there can be two of her, that's fine.
[K] that's hotter even
[K] it's the force!
[Frohman] George Lucas enters the room. "Wait, before you can all start the orgy, I need to explain the origins of your attractions to each other with three drawn out prequels involving trade franchises!" They all club him to death with their penises.
[Frohman] TEH ENDZ0R

In The Closet

Katya sorry was cleaning out a closet
itchy it's all the glitz and dispair, sans the glitz
itchy despair
itchy so that's what it takes to get a clean closet katya?
itchy you should see katya's closet ... it's like somebody took a Blockbuster and crammed it into a 4x6x10 foot space
spruce Hopefully without the staff
itchy no, there's even a morose acne-ridden teen in there too
spruce Sounds terrifying
Niteowl alive, i hope?
itchy he feeds off the out-of-date candy
Niteowl who doesn't?
spruce M-m-miss Kathy, I'm uh, runnin low on goobers.
itchy ha
itchy and even though he knows it will get him a back hand across the face, he still asks her if she'd like to join the rewards program every. single. time.
Niteowl the fucker's dedicated
spruce It's the only act of defiance he clings to.


spruce: We were behind a truck that had like twenty bumper stickers all pertaining to his being a yooper
spruce: and how great yoopers were.
itchy: "Yoopers Are Sooper!"
itchy: i bet that was one
metamonk: heh
spruce: Then we made him pull over and went at him with axe handles, telling him that we didn't cotton to his kind in Texas.

Bumper Stickers

itchy some guy pulls up next to me on my bike trip in this morning, starts chatting all friendly, so i talked with him for a bit ... then he pulls away and has a bush/cheney bumper sticker ON THE BACK OF HIS BIKE
itchy i crashed into a tree
Niteowl WOW nice!
Niteowl maybe he was being ironical?
itchy but i did think it was funny how it changed my opinion of him in a split second
spruce I saw a Bush/Cheney bumper sticker today myself. They used to be everywhere. Now it's a rare thing.
itchy yeah, funny that
itchy it's not an easy task removing a bumper sticker ... that means all those people REALLY wanted it off
spruce haha, I know
spruce And even more surprising is that they possessed a sense of shame.
itchy ha
itchy totally
spruce Which is more than I'd expect
itchy shame must be contagious
Niteowl so you're not going to stalk him and try and 'bump' into him, hopfeully becoming his best friend, until 50 years later, when all your loved ones are dead, you finally muster up the courage to make a homosexual pass at him, and you spend the rest of your days in awkward silence, never finsihing that last epic game of Axis and Allies?
Niteowl tmi?
itchy dude, wtf are you talking about? i blew him in the bushes before he sped off
itchy tmi?
Niteowl an acronym you'll never need to learn, itchy
itchy zing
itchy i do have feelings
metamonk entered the room.
metamonk hi all
Katya hey
metamonk to review last week
metamonk itchy was sweet to katya, niteowl is a wasp, stav likes the sauce, and Frohman is employed.
metamonk WTH people
spruce I don't know how anglo-saxon niteowl is...
spruce or alternatively, how good his saliva is at creating paper
Niteowl what?
itchy ha
Niteowl we were all having a grand ol' time talking about blowjobbing GOP supporters on bikes and Katya's kidnapped Blockbuster clerk and now metamonk has to come in and inject all sorts of weird

Friday, April 3, 2009


itchy it might be too late for me ... i'll end up calling you all fags and tk'ing you
chundo we already call each other fags and tk each other, itchy
chundo i mean, it IS counterstrike
chrisd yeah. alla time
chundo though we don't have friendly fire on most of the time
chundo i think i'll make it the default though, the funniest moments come from friendly fire
chrisd shit yeah eat nade, teammates
gordonfrohman yeah, I like FF
chrisd for a REALISM based game, it should be on, i guess
gordonfrohman well, real cops tend not to massacre each other at the start of a mission
chrisd they are a buncha fags though
chundo i should name the server "The Lost Counter-Strike Server" from concerned
gordonfrohman especially the rubs
gordonfrohman er, nubs
gordonfrohman it really is
gordonfrohman though, it would be fun some night for us all to join a pubbie
gordonfrohman just for the sheer horror
chrisd awesome
gordonfrohman plus, I really am frohman in CS. I suck, I shoot my teammates, and I can't throw grenades worth shit
gordonfrohman sort of distressing
spruce I think we should all get fun guns and just walk into areas side by side, holding down the fire button. I think that would be an effective strategy. They have so many bullets!
spruce I kept trying to reload it after a burst, but I still had like 80 bullets left in the gun and it takes for fucking ever to reload.
gordonfrohman fungun spam is awesome
gordonfrohman we should add like 30 lowlevel bots and just mow 'em down
chundo all 0 skill
spruce haha
spruce armed with knives
metamonk ct budget: $87.50
spruce Okay guys, these are RENTAL knives, so be careful with them.
liquidindian has set the topic to Kathy's Frenetic Balls
chrisd hahaha
chrisd they last 3 minutes
metamonk don't get them near skin.
chrisd mornin' niteowl
gordonfrohman blood voids the warranty

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Third Culture

metamonk> (link) One of my favorite journalists, on a pet subject, and I can't read it yet 'cause I have only a brief window before the dog returns. Gotta clean out the bookshelves, get rid of old stuff, find winter clothes, and I'm out of coffee.
Niteowl> well, shit.
Niteowl> You've got a serious New Yawker moral quandry right there.
Niteowl> Next thing you know, NPR will be off the air and the mailman will forget your copy of the "Paris Review."
Katya> better eat bagels!
metamonk> Everybody I know is a new yorker these days. It's a problem; we're all prats.
Niteowl> but I'M not a new yorker!
metamonk> I didn't even mention that I'm trying to get to the Calder exhibit at the Whitney, and see Slumdog Millionaire, and my hypochondria is flaring up again and I'm smoking.
Niteowl> man, i hope you never, ever leave NY
Niteowl> you'd die instantly.
metamonk> Oh, and I'm jetlagged, because being crammed into the middle seat at the back of a flying petri dish to go be alienated from ANOTHER country is somehow exotic.
Niteowl> always fun to go to the Old Country, and find that you don't belong there either
metamonk> twelve years ago I was in law school in Colorado, leading backpacking trips on vacations, 175lbs, dark brown hair, no hangovers, and my house was a perpetual "just stop by" party...
metamonk> now the online radio gets turned off every ten minutes because the ADS HURT MY EARS and lawn
Niteowl> well, you type like a 13-year old, if that helps at all.
metamonk> roflcopter