Sunday, January 9, 2011

There You Go, Talking Like You've Never Heard of a Ford Nova

GXG just poking around about it
looks like you have to show up to vote, but with secret ballots they can't prove that you actually voted
one phrase I saw was "compulsory turnout"
$20 fine if you don't vote
of course you're not exactly getting people more informed as voters, just because you're making them vote
liquidindian No, but it's a start.
liquidindian I don't drive, so I know nothing about cars. But if I had to start driving tomorrow or else, I might do a bit of research on which one the brake is.

Reasonable Reaction

they can also use bees to find explosives
so I think added a bunch of bees would help
have we stripped ppl of their epinephrine shots by that point?
Faux R.
can't have bees without bears
guy with uzi, dogs, bees, fondling from minimum wage earner, magic naked ass-viewing box
Faux R.
has to be in one oz containers, no needles
and bears
also, please remove your shoes
and no shampoo
seems like the airport is your destination, froh. Forget the flying part!

So, Annoyance, Then?

Katya so i guess meg whitman has spent like 140 million of her own money trying to become governor
i love our country in a way that isn't really love but kind of annoyance

Business Speak Would Never Get That Interesting

Like that TV show with Don Johnson!
Not Miami Vice.
The other one.
With Cheech.
I'm waiting for a teleconference about "Cost Buckets" to start.
Pondering where I went so very, very wrong...
One of those annoying business-speaky words that no one will use in that context in ten years
"Cost Pile"
Budgetary Sarlaacs


writing a cover letter must be the worst thing in the world
yeah, it curdles the soul
To Whom it May Concern,
Please eat this bullshit I am sending you
Ha! Canadian! ODOURS! HA!
I'm too classy for this joint!
come on, niteowl, we're out of here
c. d.
don't do it nite, he just wants a decoy
I like to think I've got a pretty neutral accent, though a co-worker just now mocked me for 'aboot'
you better believe I called HR and reported her right away
well done
let's have our pre-flight bacon and beer and get oot of here
let's make like poutine and cause massive intestinal trauma

That's The Spot They Keep Hitting.

h d.
dig and i were pretty much the pinnacle of military soldierness. it's like so many people died, the war effort needed to get the cooks and mechanics to go to the front line. so we went. and repaired. i think a third of the whole team was engineers repairing a single tank.
CPA 1.
I'll never understand how an engineer pointing a welding torch at the floor of a helicopter can keep it airworthy.

Wherein Entire States are Written Off

are you going to take that arctic survival course you linked to last night, ralph?
I don't know. It terrifies me appropriately. But I hate seal blubber.
maybe Idaho should terrify you more
it's full of loons, or so I hear
Idaho is a state that doesn't get a lot of mention.
most beautiful places are
Wyoming has 500k people. They're almost all assholes.
Wyoming and Montana are kind of interchangeable to me
arid, hilly cowboy country
Idaho strikes me as Washington's weird, developmentally disabled brother that he doesn't like to talk about
it is beautiful though, for sure
Colorado is deeply messed up as well--a moderately cool state with a ton of California okies slumming up the place and a fundy streak centered on Colorado Springs, the most beautiful worst place on earth
I don't know why I love it so much when people who aren't in charge of things announce that they're going to "step down."
that rocketboom thing still exists?
it's weird when some internet things last longer than a year
like I saw that JibJab still exists. Seemed wrong, somehow
it suggests that the internet has an attention span, which is mind-blowing
I had never heard of it, just knew of elspeth --she's a floatbrain
not deep
at least, that's how I use it
I see. Being the dork I am, I picture something more literal
like advanced hydrocephalus?

No One Is Safe

spruce oompa loompah doopity doo we're going to take obamacare away from you!
Cyrano Like an otter caught in a plastic six-pack ring, no doubt.
liquidindian Got a free book with PC Gamer this month, a collection of pieces from PCG, Edge, PC Zone & PC Format.
liquidindian Was surprised to see no Frohman in there.
spruce straight into the trash, then?
liquidindian No, I said no Frohman.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


ralph I was beginning to think some other, sterner chatter was doing your material for you
Niteowl you act as if there is more people in this room than just you, me, and my 12 aliases
i'm a mad fast typer
ralph some of the other aliases are smarter than you are.
CPA 1. time to go home to my asian kids. oops, wrong account.
Niteowl also, i'd just call them kids
ralph he also calls chinese food "food"
you're my second favorite filipino on the server
Niteowl no, i'd still call that chinese food
i call meatloaf food
CPA 1. the thing about food is, you're always hungry half an hour later
Niteowl and you are certainly in my top twenty of all time for People I know Who Went To Business School And Like Sailing And Lumbermen Shirts and Who, By All Accounts To Their Exotic And Interesting Heritage Just Look Like an Over Educated Italian Man With An Aversion to Sun
top 25, anyways.
CPA 1. I went to business school, too. But I'm from Norway. :(
Niteowl Yeah, yer number 1 for Norweigian Oregonians Who Actually LIke Perl And Dig Crosstrainers And Disturbingly Thin Moustaches
there's like a couple in my office alone!
Niteowl you can start chanting "USA" now
ralph I'm growing a moustache for movember
Niteowl so you'll be done by 5 minutes ago?

End Scene

ralph awesome article:…
there was a new yorker article about people who had jumped off the golden gate and survived
Niteowl is this the same article that you've linked to me twice?
CPA 1. You quoted that from memory, ralph?
ralph a great quote
Niteowl i'm not reading it a third time for god's sake man
do not remind him of his good memory, he's rather overly proudo f it
CPA 1. jesus god
Niteowl like his dizzying array of lumberman shirts
CPA 1. hahaha
ralph wow, uh, owl, you know me really well
kinda weird, that
Niteowl it is strange that two people who have chatted online incesssantly for close on two years who know something of each other
CPA 1. plus the spy cams he was able to install
CPA 1. or was that a secret
Niteowl pfft, install
you mean, 'check up on'
CPA 1. haha
ralph gf just said "HEY that's MY material"
Niteowl ralph is everyone's material
ralph *removes hand from "thinking position" in waistband*
CPA 1. gross
Niteowl 'ra' of course, meaning, 'everywhere',and 'lph', coming from a little used coptic expression meaning 'that dodgey stuff you find between your third and fourth toenail after going a bit native and neglecting to wear shoes for a month.'
Niteowl another way to get on ralph's good side, make obvious mistakes in sailing terminology and let him correct you
(or completely clueless ones, it amounts to the same thing)
CPA 1. hahahah
ralph "teowl" meaning good warm useful item for hitchhikers
and "ni " meaning bad or not
CPA 1. raise the yardarm! avast the fo'c'sle!
Niteowl being a useful warm item for hitchhikers, of course, the reason that monk wears those lumbermen shirts
that and he's never really given up on grunge
or his blue collar aspirations
ralph my only blue collar aspiration is to get away from those grubby people.
ralph hahahaha okokok you win
this round
Niteowl whenever you wanna dance, old man
Niteowl i mean that literally, don't get creepy about it
i like west coast swing
and any song, slowly. very slowly.
ok, creeped myself out
ralph no, thank god
you stopped that streak
Niteowl well done niteowl of 4 seconds ago, you creepy fuck
CPA 1. keep going...almost there

Joystick Dong

[OldF] Niteowl: i like the idea in miner wars
[OldF] Niteowl: your flying around like, rocks and shit
Cyrano: It'll be like that on BSG episode with Apollo at the Cylon factory...Cyrano: You know the one...
Cyrano: Like, *THE BEST* one.
[OldF] Niteowl: when you say Cylon Factory, i think of the Universal ride
Cyrano: Wait.
Cyrano: Did you watch BSG?
[OldF] Niteowl: the original? a zillion years ago
[OldF] Niteowl: every 3 seconds adama is sacrificing his son for teh good of the fleet
Cyrano: No , no... the new one.
[OldF] Niteowl: oh, fuck yeah
[OldF] Niteowl: why the fuck can i not remember apollo in the cylon factory
Cyrano: OK then, the episode where they had to jump every [X number} of minutes and the Apollo blowing the Cylong base eps. were the best.
Cyrano: Cylong.
[OldF] Niteowl: er
[OldF] Niteowl: you're not thinking of Blowjob Gal Acts it Up , are you?
[OldF] Niteowl: with Apollodong and Starbutt?
Cyrano: The recent porn version of the '60's Batman tv show?
Cyrano: *REALLY* well done.
Cyrano: Don't know if BSG got the same treatment.
[OldF] Niteowl: i'm sure it got A treatment
Cyrano: I did see in an "adult" video store back in the early 90's a "Cyrano" movie where instead of the usual penis the movie centered around a dildo badly hooked-up to a guy's nose.[OldF] Niteowl: that must do a number on his neck muscles
Cyrano: It was a year of so before I cemented my online identity.
Cyrano: You know what? Fuck it.  I'm Googling "Cyrano Porn".  See you on the flipside...
[OldF] Niteowl: so are you going to buy this game and never play it with me or not?
Cyrano: Is it a joystick game?  I'm just asking because I'll need a joystick?
[OldF] Niteowl: i'm assuming it is
[OldF] Niteowl: you expect me to READ the site?
Cyrano: Sorry.  Trying to find a torrent of a movie of my ingrained online namesake with a dick as his nose...
Cyrano: But, yeah, sure... joystick whatever...

Not In A Good Way

I'm ready to get election season over with.
it's like getting your face rubbed in shit in slow motion


especially avoid the relationship AskMes. Those are horrible.
as a privileged mostly white urban sophisticate, I despise the mirror askme holds up
"I just bought this. How can I maximize my enjoyment of it?"
"I am incapable of making even the most basic decisions without validation. Please help!"


chundo: so apparently my wife is stuck in london for yet another week
liquidindian: Oh dear.
liquidindian: Chundo - volcano related?
chundo: yes
cheesoning: fishing for a rub & tug?
cheesoning: I'm not biting.
liquidindian: If so, I have bad news.
liquidindian: It seems that the neighbouring volcano, Hekla, is now erupting.
chundo: fuck you, iceland
Cyrano: it's be a geologically rough last six months or so.
liquidindian: Grammatically rough last minute.


Niteowl problem with writing hard sci fi, is that one is pretty sure that whatever one is tyring to say has already been said, better, with a better plot
metamonk same with porn
niteowl you just have to pave the way for a new exciting wave of sci-fi
about stuff that...wait for it...
doesn't *EXIST* yet
sentient time traveling guitars who are secretly the voices guiding joan of arc
the new cyberpunk.
a bird that is also a coffee maker
in 15th century london.
it time travels there.
or maybe there's a spaceman in the future who keeps not getting his future mail and he finally realizes his mailbox is a dimension to the ancient time of he has to time travel.
this is easy.
damn, iv'e been wasting my life in an aspiration best left toyou, twig
although, it's never been my aspiration to write sci fi
it's okay, I can come up with plots for all walks of life.
fantasy, right?
CPA 1.
Genre: Romance Subgenre: Time-travel. Go.
there's a knight in a past medieval time who loses his unicorn to a rogue knight who is a famed unicorn thief. After forgetting about his unicorn, and settling for a normal winged horse, as are the usual in his time, he encounters this rogue knight in a mountain, or something.
the rogue is a lady knight!
CPA 1.
fuckin' slam dunk
as he is about to confront the lady knight, she makes him choose between pursuing her and saving his unicorn, which she has just cast down into a lava filled pit.
then a wizard shows up, or something, and they team up together.
and the unicorn has all of these hard feelings and like will throw her off.
it's kinda shrekishj
CPA 1.
Although I think most Time-travel Romances are modern-day ladies who travel back and encounter Princes with Huge Dongs.
are you sure you didn't minor in Fantasy Novel Writing?
bitch I went to liberal arts college
I minored in EVERYTHING
well the problem there is that the time traveller's wife raised the bar pretty dang high.
twig that book has everything (granted, I only watched the second half of the movie in a hotel room, but I think I get the idea)


I just spent 40 seconds waiting for a song on youtube to load before realizing that I had the song on my ipod, about a foot away from me on my desk.
internet generation.
up in heah.


cheesoning: new bieber theory is that he's a droid
cheesoning: (my theory)liquidindian: Jesus.
liquidindian: That's so incredibly...
cheesoning: You spelled Justin wrong
liquidindian: American.
itchy: he doesn't sound bad ... it's not my thing
itchy: but he's going to have a nice run with the ladies
liquidindian: How old is he?
cheesoning: itch, did I mention that he's a gay robot?
liquidindian: Once his balls drop, sure.
itchy: 16
cheesoning: (again, my theory)
itchy: he's gonna have a nice run with gay robots then
cheesoning: NO DOUBT
itchy: he makes avril lavigne look like an old hag

This Is How Lemmings Work

Metamonk left.
Metamonk joined.
[Obed] Busithoth left.
[Obed] Busithoth joined.[OldF] Niteowl: wtf is going on?
Metamonk: I accidentally exited[Obed] Busithoth: and I followed


stressmib: thanks katya
Katya: i got your back
stressmib: you are now officially part of my entourage
Katya: can i be Drama?
stressmib: please fetch the following things from the grocery store:
Katya: fuck that johnny drama doesn't do the grocery store
Gemmy: How does one become part of your entourage?
stressmib: well then I guess I'm running my crew MINUES ONE
Katya: aw
stressmib: minuse
stressmib: minus.
stressmib: where's my language groupie
stressmib: christ.
Cyrano: textual expressions of feeble support, apparently
stressmib: gemmy, there are multiple ways to become part of my entourage

stressmib: there's the gauntlet

stressmib: the graveyard guilt trip
stressmib: Ms. Johnson's bakery devilry, a personal favorite of mine