Thursday, July 12, 2012

Saints Row 3

stresstwig: did you get all that sweet SR3 dlc or just the base game owly
[OldF] Niteowl: just base
[OldF] Niteowl: base looks plenty nuts
stresstwig: indeed
stresstwig: indeed.
[OldF] Niteowl: wow, of the 21 best selling titles on steam at the moment, i only have 8
stresstwig: for shaaaaaaaaaaaame
[OldF] Niteowl: i like what i like
[OldF] Niteowl: if War of the Roses and Age of Chivalry were on there, i'd get it in a heartbeat
stresstwig: why are you bringing donkey/yam fanfic into this
[OldF] Niteowl: because it fits into every situation
[OldF] Niteowl: it's like the ketchup of conversation topics
stresstwig: hahaha
stresstwig: next time you use that line! make sure you say catsup

Monday, January 16, 2012


I'm dealing with, "I want to tell you how I thought about you this weekend when I saw another woman's shoes, but I don't want to sound too much like a serial killer."

Don't even try to win this one.

How do you think that would look on a shirt?
pretty good as 'How do you think you'd look as a shirt?'
(don't say that)

(pro tip)

(also don't ask me how to NOT sound like a serial killer)

I was thinking of "Do you lotion your back?"
It's like when I saw that a woman in an elevator at work had a really great pedicure--but she wasn't someone I knew--So I spent the rest of the day thinking, "It's a damn shame there's not a good way to complement a complete stranger's toes..."
Just how stretchy is your skin?
"Without sounding like you want to put them in seperate jars."
we have pretty extensive training on sexual harassment for new employees here.

(tips on the best way to harass newbs. Yep.)

but it's crazy - you can't tell someone that their hair looks nice according to the rules.

it's funny how sexual harassment takes a sharp upwards spike after sexual harassment training
All I wanted to say was, "Hey, nice work... Good call..."
there's the possibility that they might take it as "I want to fuck your hair"
Couldn't find the words that would work.

(And not possibly get me sued into oblivion.)
"If I was some lecherous foot fetish person, I would probably have a huge boner right now. Thank goodness for both of us I'm not!"

"but seriously, who does your toes?"
I'm not a foot fetish person! Really nice shoes need to have a woman in them!

A woman who's still attached to the feet!

And not being held somewhere against her will!
see? totally normal.
I think I'm clearing the baseline.