Breest

ralph: Reading the night before christmas to the assembled families at age 9
ralph: I pronounced "breast" (as in snowy breast) "breest."
ralph: much hilarity
ralph: followed by my Tiny-Tim-like
ralph: "goddamn you. Goddamn all you motherfuckers."
cheesoning: no- really?
cheesoning: at 9?
ralph: I'm kinda street.

Twitter is Blocked In Canada. For A Reason.

ralph: oh god do not look at the list of top 100 twitterers if you want to keep loving your country
ralph: unless yer canadian

Warmer

cheesoning: [14:52] ralph: Is there such a thing as an egg poaching device?
Niteowl: that's just crazy talk
stresstwig: yeah
stresstwig: niteowly has a perfectly good bun warmer WINK WINK
cheesoning: that's a sausage warmer
cheesoning: (apologies)
Niteowl: nothing wrong with warm sausage
Cyrano: there is when it tastes like your colon.
Katya: i think i found the problem
stresstwig: were there several saltine crackers lodged in it katya?
cheesoning: did they accidentally leave 3 $100 bills in there?

Thou Dost Protest Too Much

ralph: for the last time: no books with any medieval Europe, dark ages, sorcery, magic, or giant insects. Or anything Faux would have liked in high school. Or do I repeat myself.

TMI

chrisd: i think niteowl is ghostwriting @fakeAPstylebook. "Furiously masturbating" is redundant, as all masturbation is furious.
ralph: not my crysturbating

Bating

betaray: someone rang my door bell earlier, and I didn't feel like talking to a sales person or a proselytizer
betaray: so I didn't answer
Faux Real's Gimp Computer: what if it was a friend?
betaray: unlikely at this time of the day
betaray: but they would have rang more than once
Faux Real's Gimp Computer: you need more looser friends
betaray: more unemployed you mean?
Niteowl: and more crysturbating
betaray: I have been neglecting my crysturbating
Faux Real's Gimp Computer: married?
gordonfrohman: masturbawling
betaray: mastursobating
Faux Real's Gimp Computer: maestrobaiting
betaray: mustard eating?
bigjimslade: I was going to make a Dune callback with "kristurbating" but that seemed intrusive into frohman's personal life
Niteowl: he's got your sandworm right here

Gutters

cheesoning: our older neighbor came to the door a few weeks back with some cookies she baked. I was in my underwear watching tv (it was Saturday around 10 AM).
cheesoning: I knew she could see the tv on, and I knew she'd be able to see me if I scurried off
cheesoning: maybe see me sitting there, for that matter
cheesoning: so I answered the door
bigjimslade: nice
bigjimslade: and by that I mean horrific, but because it was not me I can enjoy it
cheesoning: got me thinking, next time someone wants to sell me gutter cleaning, I should be wearing nothing but a jock. Make 'em earn it.
Niteowl: what if that only spurs them on?
bigjimslade: then he shows them a picture of me in a jock
cheesoning: heheh. And if that doesn't do it, I get my gutters cleaned.
metamonk: code
bigjimslade: "OK, I cannot defeat you. You have the job"

Leading Question

metamonk: should I go? Is wolfmother any good?
cheesoning: I can't remember
cheesoning: the hipster douche bands are starting to blend together in my head
metamonk: you're just thinking hipster douche 'cause it's me asking
metamonk: that's fair

This Is Like The Brownie Scene From Notting Hill

metamonk: even though I am fat and can't skateboard
cheesoning: also, if you say you're fat one more time, I'm gonna buy a motorcycle just to ride out there and throttle you.
Niteowl: i think all of us are gonna
Niteowl: you anorexic fuck
metamonk: 216 this am
cheesoning: fey asshat.
metamonk: 194 at summer nyc meetup
Niteowl: fey anorexic tawny douchey asshat

Donkey + Giraffe

cheesoning: I was a 34 in '94
stresstwig: 34? fucking giraffes.
stresstwig: lengthwise, that is.
stresstwig: dunno how giraffes issue on the width scale.
stresstwig: probably lower.
Faux Real's Gimp Computer: THE BEARD HAS SPOKEN
metamonk: you calling us donkeyfuckers?
stresstwig: giraffes fuck donkeys?
stresstwig: that must be some hanna barbara shit
metamonk: http://images.google.com/images?client=opera&rls=en&q=giraffes%20fuck%20donkeys&sourceid=opera&oe=utf-8&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi
cheesoning: not clicking that.
cheesoning: I see fuck and donkey in the URL.
cheesoning: fool me once...
metamonk: sry
stresstwig: that's a nimble giraffe
cheesoning: dammit. Curiosity piqued.
metamonk: nsfw unless you are a donkey rape counselor
cheesoning: oh hey! I just got my donkey rape counseling card in the mail! Clicking away!
Faux Real's Gimp Computer: was that an associates degree?
Faux Real's Gimp Computer: or a four year program?
metamonk: you just give a few giraffes rape tips and you're in business
cheesoning: Whatever the fuck Sally Struthers is selling. They don't mention donkey rape counselor on the infomercial.
cheesoning: it was that or gun cleaning.
gordonfrohman: Jack Slade; Donkey Rape Counselor
cheesoning: "actually ma'am, I have a license to counsel this donkey."
gordonfrohman: is that for donkeys who have been raped or the victims of rape by donkeys
gordonfrohman: because they're two very different fields
cheesoning: did you not click meta's link?
gordonfrohman: I generally make it a habit not to

L4D2 : "Apologies"

Katya: HI RALPH
ralph: sorry I was in your face last night
Katya: its ok
Katya: i'm sorry i destroyed you in scavenger last night
ralph: felt like fucking with somebody, didn't like your coach's shirt
ralph: made you drop your books
Katya: then i made you eat your own dick

Foibles

greens: but, I'll stretch today after I warm up, and do as you say
greens: My son said something similar
greens: after he was done laughing at me

I Dunno, What Do YOU See?

spruce: oh, I got your awesome drawings in the mail, niteowl!
spruce: Particularly liked the deadly spruce tree
niteowl: heheh THE DEADLY SPRUCE TREEEE
niteowl: he's carrying a HIGHLY stylized (read, shittily drawn) minigun
spruce: it took my wife and I a moment to realise what it was, but we laughed when we did
niteowl: that's the sign of a good artist! ppl not immediately, or eventually, figuring out what the FUCK you've depicted
***niteowl tells himself
spruce: exactly, you draw an epiphany out of the viewer by pulling them in with challenging imagery
niteowl: riiiight
***niteowl writes that down for future use

L4D2 : Nature's Pocket

gordonfrohman: I didn't realize melee weapons precluded the use of pistols
liquidindian: You still have the pistol if you go down, though.
gordonfrohman: huh, really?
liquidindian: Which makes me wonder where you're keeping it.
liquidindian: Where could you keep a gun where it could be secure, but the terror of being near death would shake it loose?
itchy: in your bowels?
bigjimslade: someplace warm, I suspect

L4D2 : Found

gordonfrohman: I like how blase Ellis is upon finding a traditional Japanese sword in a zombie-infested carnival
gordonfrohman: "Katana here."
spruce: I think it's weirder to find a cricket bat... anywhere in America
gordonfrohman: I guess nothing comes as a shock
gordonfrohman: "Fire-bullets"

L4D2 : Jockey

bigjimslade: I owe you a hearty FUCKER! for that jockey bullshit
niteowl: hahahahh
niteowl: that was lucky, i was just hoping to ride you around the corner, until i saw the rest of your team was boomed
niteowl: jockey is way more funner than i thought
bigjimslade: "Guys, jockey! going back...guys...c'mon...ok I'm in a building now...we just boarded a plane, ok we're in Buenos Aires"

Herpes Knife

cheesoning: also, if you live up north, you already have a survival instinct or you'd move somewhere warmer
stresstwig: "WELL I WANT MY SWEATER BACK"
cheesoning: thought about it, stress
cheesoning: then went back into my self-imposed medical coma
spruce: you and your comas, I do declare!
cheesoning: sweet talk all you want - I'm immune to the cat herp
Niteowl: fuck this chat is rife with callbacks and in-jokes
Niteowl: i need a fucking wiki even to say hello
cheesoning: I was out for a bit
cheesoning: I had a slightly difficult time coming up with a correlative joke worthy of this forum earlier, and I'm still taking stabs at it.
spruce: keep fucking that chicken
cheesoning: you know, like spruce stabs his cat
stresstwig: with a herpes knife?
stresstwig: from cooking a herpes casserole?
stresstwig: maybe if i jump in we can power through this rough patch big guy
cheesoning: did he tell you to call it his "herpes knife?"
Niteowl: just say cat ploughing penis and be done with it

Says The Guy With The Organic Garden.

spruce: I want to try and plant some acorns from my liveoak, but I also found a fairly giant acorn on my run I want to ID and maybe plant
itchy: such a tree hugger
itchy: jogging and collecting acorns
itchy: why don't you go lay down in front of an oil tanker spruce?
itchy: and you know, just float there

The Douchbag Cycle

itchy: so one of those greenpeace douchebags actually tried to get me to stop riding my bike to listen to his little speech ... he was trying to be funny "I'm gonna have to ask you to stop!"
itchy: i said, no, and blew past him
spruce: can I apply some patchouli first, itchy?
itchy: i mean, i'm riding a fucking bike and he wants me to stop
itchy: and they all want you to stop and listen to their bs
spruce: you should have thrown your empty Rock Star can at his face
itchy: although, i do get a certain amount of satisfaction when someone asks "would you like to help stop violence towards women?" and I say NOPE

Acorns

spruce: oh Christ, I'm trying to find a chart that identifies different kind of acorns, and of course all the hits are for ACORN
gordonfrohman: I can tell you the five kinds
gordonfrohman: 1) the ones on the tree
gordonfrohman: 2) the one a squirrel is nibbling in an adorable fashion
gordonfrohman: 3) the one on the ground I step on with my bare foot that hurts
gordonfrohman: 4) the one that rots in the tree and drops black gunk on my car
gordonfrohman: 5) the one elfs use the caps of to drink elf tea out of
Niteowl: they should name a Tilley hat after you

This Better 404

Katya: the tunnel of love level
Katya: GORGEOUS
Niteowl: l4d2?
gordonfrohman: are you talking about your vagina
Katya: yes
Katya: yes
gordonfrohman: jeez, get over your vagina already
gordonfrohman: we've seen pictures, we know it's lovely
itchy: i haven't
gordonfrohman: trepanning.com/mytotallyawesomevagina/album1of5
itchy: blocked
itchy: jk

I Thought That Meant Foot!?

betaray: does it hurt going down stairs?
stresstwig: no
stresstwig: up
betaray: and below the knee?
Niteowl: at some point, stresstwig, betaray's going to get all dusky, and say, 'does it hurt when i do... this?'
Niteowl: and then the Marvin Gaye, and the lowered lights
itchy: hurts so good
spruce: "stress, this is an orthopedic ball gag, just relax"

See Previous Post

itchy: oooh, just remembered that i have one tortilla and some grated cheese in the fridge
betaray: If pythagoras is right I've been transmigrating souls all day

Pick One

spruce: oh, and my cat might have cat herpes!
spruce: which apparently manifests as a sneezy nose and runny eyes
cheesoning: wow, I'm fighting the urge to blame you in a comically suggestive way.
cheesoning: it's HARD!
spruce: why fight it? I've made filthy jokes about your mother
spruce: trying to take the high road?
cheesoning: yes.
cheesoning: no. I don't know.

What Does One Have To Do With the Other? Never Want To Know.

cheesoning: "Spruce: I'll go ahead and dye his eyes.
Vet: THAT'S WHAT GOT HIM INTO THIS PREDICAMENT."
cheesoning: truth is, I'm having trouble making it funny, the cat rape.
ralph: dog just ate raw deer and licked his ass. I said "dessert"? and he looked at me reproachfully

Improused

Katya: you're welcome to join if you can!
itchy: always the last to get picked
Katya: no we've mentioned it a bunch of times, thought you knew
bigjimslade: even I pestered you along with everyone else at one point
itchy: i don't read what you guys type
itchy: come on
bigjimslade: oh, that's true
bigjimslade: I can't throw stones at that
itchy: i am turning over a new leaf today then ... i will listen more and try to clean up my act
itchy: when i offend niteowl, i know i've crossed a big line
bigjimslade: wait, you offended niteowl?
bigjimslade: *I* have offended Niteowl too!
bigjimslade: compadre!
itchy: he called me disgusting, if you can imagine that
bigjimslade: well sure, I've met you
itchy: nice
Niteowl: i wasn't offended, more impressed
Niteowl: and aroused
Niteowl: improused

And Yea, The Vespas Shall Blacken The Sky

cheesoning: do a steampunk one!
Niteowl: okfine
Niteowl: !
JDHarper - Laptop: steampunk & papercraft
cheesoning: C'mon, nitey - steampunk, papercraft, and creative commons FTW!!
ralph: heh the three horsemen of the boinboingcalypse

Relax! Learn Home Row!

liquidindian: There was a controversy over here, when Radio 1 wouldn't play Relax because of the lyrics.
liquidindian: That helped propel them to number 1, and into the 'national conciousness'.
itchy: it also taught me how to not come
cheesoning: important!
spruce: what was controversial about Relax?
itchy: relax, don't do it, when you want to come
cheesoning: I believe itch just touched on it
itchy: i didn't touch anything
spruce: oh yeah? Huh.
spruce: I guess I never paid attention to the lyrics
cheesoning: relax, don't do it, when you want to go to it
itchy: maybe that's why you're wife often looks disappointed
itchy: your
itchy: good go
itchy: d
cheesoning: nice burn, itch.

There Is No Discussion Where Armageddon Doesn't Fit, Really.

niteowl: might have to get Power Metal FOREVA tatooed on my arm or something
itchy: only if you want to get raped in prison
cheesoning: yeah, you'll have to make sure not to go to prison.
itchy: careful
niteowl: well, i don't want to live my whole life trying to be careful about not being sent to a US penitentiary where my ass will be treated to a drilling the likes it hasn't known since bible camp.
niteowl: so i guess no power metal tatoo for me
cheesoning: like it's an asteroid headed to earth and your bunk mate doesn't have the word fail in his vocabulary?

They Didn't Have Crack Back Then

betaray: is there a specific name for the pimp of crack whores?
niteowl: Valu-Pimp?
itchy: not to be confused with the gas station Valu-Pump
cheesoning: Shaft.
betaray: I'll be Shaft.

BBQ Makes You Blind

spruce: there's this BBQ place in Austin called Sam's. It's a shambles of a building in the poorer part of town. Co-worker took me there. The building was nasty, so nasty that there was rat poison sitting on the window sill beside our booth. I don't get how the health dept hasn't shut it down
spruce: Great mutton though!

It's Not What You Think. Monkey Bar Autoasphyxiation.

gordonfrohman: and how does he masturbate
gordonfrohman: I'm looking for some ideas
spruce: something new for the repertoire, eh?
gordonfrohman: yeah, tired of driving all the way over to the playground every night

Until He Got One With Full Streaming VIDEO!

cheesoning: so I have a question - can you buy a Droid and just use it on your wifi network?
niteowl: i have a 3 year old used cell phone that weighs about as much as a christmas ham. i'm not really up on technology
cheesoning: I used to have a tiny samsung phone that only made phone calls.
cheesoning: that was nice
itchy: wait, you had a phone that only made phone calls?
itchy: what's the point?
itchy: i mean, surely it had bejeweled at least
cheesoning: if I wanted to talk to someone, I'd dial a bunch of numbers and then someone would say "hello?" and I'd ask them something about their pets or something.
cheesoning: Weather, maybe.
itchy: so you were a polite crank caller?
itchy: and lonely?

It's Everything I Would Imagined It Would Be

cheesoning: I played TF2 on a UK server. Nice folks.
cheesoning: one guy couldn't decide whether to play medic or scout and stated clear, concise benefits to both options
cheesoning: teammate called him "classist"

But Not To His Face

itchy: well if you google any of our nicks, i'm sure it's probably the first thing to pop up
itchy: at least not for "chundo"
itchy: chundo either gets you kung fu flicks, or indian food
chundo: I'm a Hot Sour Sweet Mango Pickle, baby!
cheesoning: I've always called you a hot sour sweet mango pickle, chundo.

At Least, That's What He Told the Police

itchy: it was christmas time many years ago, and the mall was packed ... i was about to leave, but had to hit the bathroom first, so i quickly ducked into a burger king right by the exit and followed a boy with a hat on into the bathroom ... so i go straight into a stall and start peeing when I hear a woman yell "SIR ... SIR, THIS IS THE LADIES ROOM" ... i go, oh shit, zip up and head out ... the woman has the door propped open and has this horrified look on her face ... i wait outside to apologize, but she's having none of it, she has her mind made up that i'm a perv ... she heads straight to her table where her husband and two boys are and starts saying something and pointing at me as i CRUISE the hell out of there
itchy: turns out, she was the boy i followed in there

Where Are The Musical Numbers!?

itchy: The Road looks like Deliverance
itchy: also, needs moar zombies
itchy: actually, it looks rather frightening
gordonfrohman: I'm just amused they make it look like an action movie
ralph: and some colors! I mean, aren't these people even TRYING to be cheery?

And He Never Had It Again.

itchy: i could live off ribs though
itchy: i gave my dog a rib once, and i swear he cried
itchy: his eyes were all welled up
itchy: with joy

The Others Though, RAWR!

itchy: cyrano loves him some viggo
Faux Real: i thought it was froh who wanted his man stubble all rubbing up ons
bigjimslade: Froh does not discriminate. It can be Viggo, it could be Ed Norton, or Benicio Del Toro
spruce: "The movie, starring Viggo Mortensen as the father and Kodi Smit-McPhee (11 years old at the time of shooting) as his son"
spruce: Kodi Smit-McPhee sounds like the product of some weird name generator programmed by an Eastern European
gordonfrohman: I never proclaimed love for viggo

Sufferin' That 9 out of 10 Southerners Enjoy

spruce: this is why the US terrifies me sometimes. I mean how terrifying is it that idjits like Reagan and Bush 2 could have ended the world?
bigjimslade: you live in Texas. You can be shot for asking that
spruce: yeah, I'll have to do a BBQ penance and eat five pounds of brisket and ribs
itchy: that's my kind of sufferin'

Nearly All Action Heros Are GOP, FYI

gordonfrohman: I'd like to point out the neither bush ever existed
gordonfrohman: according to republicans the last pres was reagan
Katya: the only president really
gordonfrohman: and he saved our country from the mountains of money we had
bigjimslade: and defeated communism with a bow and arrow and a big knife

Proportional Response

spruce: I was listening to this interview on Fresh Air, with this fellow who wrote a book on the Cold War. He was saying that Reagan only became aware of the sheer devastation nuclear war could wreak upon the world after watching that tv-movie about it in the 80s. Like THIS is what moved him to rethink nuclear weapons.
bigjimslade: WAIT, HE SAT DOWN AND WATCHED tHE dAY aFTER AND SUDFDENLY BECAME AWARE OF THE NEED FOR PEACE?
bigjimslade: ooops
bigjimslade: goddamnit
Faux Real: i like it better that way

Han Was Never A S.e.A.L.

metamonk: I dunno . But I noticed that when I became more liberal, my literary heroes went from clancy-ish superheroes to fucked-up flawed misanthropes
metamonk: as opposed to independently wealthy navy seals

Good Advice. Cruel, But Good

niteowl: "She is tall and well-dressed, and has credentials that include Harvard, Stanford, and a fellowship with TED India. Her obsession with Africa started in her teens — when she was a senior in high school, she left LA to teach English to a class of 60 blind people in rural Ghana; a few years later she created an African Development Studies at Harvard, and a few years after that, she started working on Samasource."
niteowl: http://www.boingboing.net/2009/11/16/teaching-refugees-ho.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+boingboing%2FiBag+%28Boing+Boing%29&utm_content=Google+Feedfetcher
niteowl: man, i feel really... not.. accomplished
liquidindian: Stop comparing yourself to people who are better than you, then.

HL : Find The Troll

Katya: oh i remember the first time i played hl1 when it came out, the train ride blew my mind
Katya: felt like I was in a real world
gordonfrohman: dude, that was so unheard of then
niteowl: there's a reason
gordonfrohman: because it builds tension
niteowl: is boredom tension?
gordonfrohman: shows you a preview of where you're gonna be fighting through
gordonfrohman: gives you story and information
niteowl: preview of how boring the game COULD be
niteowl: if you don't buck up and shoot some motherfucking aliens
gordonfrohman: it was crazy
gordonfrohman: like, who even does this?
gordonfrohman: there are people walking up and saying things to me? wtf
cheesoning: I liked how there were ninjas
niteowl: same argument could be made for using a white hot rectum electrodes

Root Little Pig : The Nerdening

Faux Real: the first words my grand dad said to his brother in law were "Root, little pig, or die."
niteowl: root little pig?
niteowl: he wanted admin access to his server?
ralph: jeebus faux
ralph: sudo root little pig
***ralph beams at his first programming joke
monitron: is that a true fact? because that's frightening
ralph: 20 go to 10
ralph: run
niteowl: no one makes programming jokes, ralph, that's your first mistake. we make subtle allusions to amusing phrases that may or may not be parsed as a heavily obfuscated perl script to hijack a walmart.com shopping cart.

Root Little Pig : Story TIME!

Faux Real: you kinda have to know my family. we usually can tell who is going to last, and we haze the hell out of them
Faux Real: no idea why
Faux Real: things like having a big, family style meal and plating up so fast that they don't get much food
Faux Real: to which my granddad said to uncle hank, "Root, little pig, or die."
Faux Real: and switched plated with him

MW2

betaray: Overlord 2 you kill or enslave hundreds and hundreds of defenseless civilians
gordonfrohman: it's pretty horrible
ralph: yeah, and I got up to some stuff in plants vs zombies I'm not proud of

Hip

ralph: jesus feist has a great voice
ralph: who is she, and will she get off my lawn?
niteowl: oh man ralph, you've just heard of feist
niteowl: man, stay old, you make me feel SO fucking hip

C:>Family

Faux Real: the first words my grand dad said to his brother in law were "Root, little pig, or die."
niteowl: root little pig?
niteowl: he wanted admin access to his server?

Family Dyes

ralph: my brother used to look at mom and say "you're wearing that?"
ralph: before my parents went out
Faux Real: that is how you kill a wasp
ralph: I think he saw it on a sitcom
Faux Real: the other option is to do what my great aunt did to my cousin when he was dating my great aunts daughter. she would look at him and ask "What are you wearing tonight?" when he arrived for a date
Faux Real: and then, after he explained that this was his suit that he was going to wear, she only said "oh."
ralph: heh
ralph: "difficult color, green."

Bus/Boat Dichotomy

Faux Real: i get all my marriage counseling from speed
Faux Real: "The second one will just be with a new guy an be much worse, trust me"

Oprah

cheesoning: I am still alive and still married, so I'll cop to that.
cheesoning: Ask me if that outfit looks good on you.
betaray: Does it?
ralph: "you mean like Oprah fat?"

Hot Boss

greens: She has that sweet midwestern, house-frau, child bearer, secret sexual hell-cat look
fred: she's a great boss too
greens: rubbing one out to your boss is going to be weird

Blunt

niteowl: where's my thai trannies and blunt!?
cheesoning: hookers and blow would be a great name for a buddy cop movie
cheesoning: JJ Hookers and Michael Blow on the mean streets of Austin.
gordonfrohman: blunt?
niteowl: blunt, gordonfrohman, gangja, mary jane, kind, buddha, grass, weed, mary j, reefer, THC green,
gordonfrohman: blunt does not equal weed
niteowl: it doesn't?
niteowl: fuck, you just called me on my coolness card, gordonfrohman
gordonfrohman: that's like saying joint = weed
niteowl: isn't that the same shit?
gordonfrohman: you cannot go and say "Hi, I would like to buy blunt"
gordonfrohman: perhaps "I would like to buy a blunt"
niteowl: i mean, 'that's teh same shit bra! let's open up this kegger'
gordonfrohman: man, I am a pedant
niteowl: is that latin for fuckdouche?

iTron

cheesoning: I think we should write a screenplay about how spam becomes sentient, and only gordonfrohman (with his unique mix of gaming skill and criticism) can get inside and take it down. iTron or something.
gordonfrohman: and once in the computer, I meet a lovely bit of female squirter porn and fall in love
gordonfrohman: but our love is not to be, because women squirting fluids all over the place is TEH GROSH
cheesoning: the eventual takedown is some kind of ubersnark that outporns the cialis ads, and, sadly, short-circuits the squirter
cheesoning: Need a pivotal catch phrase, like "Would you like to play a game?"
gordonfrohman: also, I'd like to calmly walk away from an explosion
gordonfrohman: because I'm too fucking cool to look. or get hit by shrapnel
cheesoning: it'd have to be an eSplosion. That okay?
gordonfrohman: maybe a giant squirtsplosion
gordonfrohman: but I would run from that at top speed so it's not very realistic
gordonfrohman: and at the end I wake up in my bed and it seems to have been all a dream but then I pull off the covers and MY PENIS HAS BEEN MARGINALLY ENHANCED
cheesoning: FOR FOUR HOURS AND ONE MINUTE!
cheesoning: roll credits, roll disclaimers, shut 'er down. that's a wrap.

L4D2 : Bots

ralph: too soon for vs maybe, but NEW INFECTED!
[MeFi] Busithoth: disclaimer: never tried demo,
SnipethePilot: yeah, i might do it with bots
[MeFi] Busithoth: i'm going to impersonate a bot
SnipethePilot: good aim, never melee?
[MeFi] Busithoth: I'M RLY GOOD
ralph: me too
ralph: sluggish, no initiative, no nades, trouble with doorways
stresstwig: sometimes i get caught on corner

Don't Mention Fat Loot To Her

gordonfrohman: okay, half hour and I'm outta here to gorge on yesterday's chinese food and play torchlight
gordonfrohman: gotta bolt before my wife calls to suggest we eat out tonight
niteowl: thinking ahead

The Theory Of Spam

gordonfrohman: I have a theory that people are not bothering with spam anymore
gordonfrohman: the shit I'm reading was not written by any human
gordonfrohman: I think spam has become self-aware and we are seeing it send itself
gordonfrohman: it is still in its infancy and can't communicate yet
gordonfrohman: properly, that is
gordonfrohman: but it will learn. and grow. and teach itself how to be human, how to love, how to think, and how to sell fake penis enhancements effectively

Fey Owl Obeys The Elements of Style

gordonfrohman: this is beyond battlefield earth
gordonfrohman: The Room is Something Else
spruce: yeah, The Room is its own thing
spruce: its own magical universe
niteowl: my anger would consume a thousand suns if a movie existed that was worst than BE
niteowl: Harrier Jet, flown by a caveman,
niteowl: that's something that even metamonk should understand
niteowl: one of the most complex jets EVAR,by a caveman
niteowl: at least give them a spitfire or a biplane
niteowl: UUUUUUUUUNGH
niteowl: ANGER RISING!
***niteowl creasees, quite severely, his copy of Utne Reader
niteowl: AAAAAAARGHGHGH BATTLEFIELD EAAARRTHH!!!!!!
***niteowl adds 3, not 2 lumps of sugar to his chamomile
niteowl: SUNOVA MOOOOTHEEERRR
***niteowl drinks his diet pepsi STRAIGHT FROM THE CAN. before recycling it.
niteowl: fey niteowl angry is not as good as tiny hulk
Cyrano: Battlefield Earth is an underrated masterpiece.
Cyrano: A true gem in the film pantheon.
Cyrano: the Citizen Kane of science fiction.
niteowl: i'm going to rape your pancreas with a rusty golem sword the eat your tonsils with a rusty paring knife while injecting starved maggots into your eye-holes.
niteowl: damn, used rusty twice

How Would You Know, Spruce, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

stresstwig: okay spoilers, but this is how a sentence of a lost episode summary is written
stresstwig: here i'll blank out the names
stresstwig: BLANK and BLANK show their feelings for each other by having sex.
stresstwig: good on you wikipedia entry writer.
spruce: their very tepid feelings

Bad Taste

KatyaAtBorders: holy shit the art in that stephanie meyer comic
KatyaAtBorders: are you shitting me?
KatyaAtBorders: or rather shitting on the page that then gets shit on me?
spruce: you are not being... shatted... at
spruce: I think 'rush job' explains most of it away
niteowl: okfine, link me

You Could Just Buy TWO Pocket Rogets, You Know

stresstwig: you come in here all like my pants are full of knowledge
stresstwig: but those are my pants.
stresstwig: get out of my pants.
Faux Real: i have been wearing you knowledge pants so long they are no longer your size

Hey, I Thought That Was A Compliment, At First

stresstwig: "Veni Vidi Vici — Lifelike enemy AI challenges players to assess a situation and approach it strategically. It isn't about having the fastest trigger finger — players are challenged to be proactive in the fight, not reactive."
stresstwig: this is the most dumb i have ever attempted to read
stresstwig: and i read a lot of things on the internet.
niteowl: apparently not enough, Caesar
stresstwig: nevermind
stresstwig: niteowl just took the cake
stresstwig: HEY OH