Faux Real: he was like, "eh, i do it all the time, it is just a $90 late fee
Faux Real: this is the guy i live with
Faux Real: and yet? can never get him to pay for my dinner
Faux Real: no matter how much skin i show
Niteowl: you gotta put out, Faux Real
spruce: try putting on tack and harness, and if that doesn't work, go down a fetish checklist until you get free pizza
Niteowl: spruce is a man of distinction, class, and endless tips on how to degrade yourself for a free slice of Meat Lover's.
Faux Real: how convenient! i already call spruce my slice of meat lovers..."
Niteowl: YOUR slice?!
spruce: hey kids, I'm PARTY SIZED
spruce: plenty of Canadian back bacon to go around
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