Traditional Dress

betaray: My dad did some business in saudi right before 9/11
betaray: and he bought some traditional dress
betaray: so he doesn't have the guts to wear it, but I went ahead and did it because we had it
betaray: I didn't realize how many Bin Ladin's there would be
ralph: not in ny.
ralph: until the gay parade
ralph: which would probably have forced a mass qaeda suicide
betaray: I'm all trying to take the moral high ground and just say, "No, I'm just an Arab guy" when people ask if I'm a terrorist
betaray: then in comes some idiot with a towel on his head saying he's various racial epithets
niteowl: "I'm the guy who invented chess and rational numbers"
niteowl: "I'm the guy who preserved ancient academia from you barbarians and the Dark Ages"
betaray: although, they don't make a head thing big enough for giant pumpkin heads
betaray: I had a hard time keeping my scarf on
ralph: they constantly fuss with them
ralph: like travolta in Grease fixing his hair
ralph: adjusting the crease, etc
betaray: well, maybe I was more authentic than I knew

Han Solo : Citizen

ralph: a few years a go (pre-9/11) I went as Han Solo
ralph: with a giant goddamned sidearm in a thigh holster
ralph: walked in front of cops.
niteowl: you should put on a .. whatever they are kalled, khufiri? something..
niteowl: something really arab looking
niteowl: and when ppl ask you what you are, say, very slowly, while maintaining puritan-like eye contact and a steady voice, "An American Citizen".

Draper, You Know, From the Show?

ralph: Need halloween costume btw
niteowl: note tawniness
betaray: people used to tell me I acted like a disney villain
betaray: evil, but in a lovable way
niteowl: you should go as Don Draper, and act really fucking offended whenever an overly sensitive left-wing proust reading liberal can't readily identify you

Or You If You Frequent Very Select Websites

betaray: no one's going to even notice you
ralph: zackly
ralph: it's slut night, not old guy night
niteowl: it's never old guy night
niteowl: unless it's election night

Protip : House

betaray: protip: if your doctor has to come up with multiple diagnoses to cover your symptoms, he's wrong
betaray: or you're dying
ralph: that's a hell of a protip beta
gordonfrohman: I watched House, they always have like 6 diseases
ralph: Tumor throwing clots!
ralph: Sarkoidosis!
gordonfrohman: one kid had the plague, MS, and a railroad spike in his heart, and House only realized it by talking to Wilson about yogurt

Pic Of Owl At Posh Restaurant

niteowl: last shot is me looking REALLY out of element
ralph: where is your polite canadian weekend blazer?
ralph: dammit you're out of uniform!
niteowl: completely
niteowl: my ponytail + asianness (not ENOUGH asian) have already betrayed me, why bother with the blazer
ralph: nah if you got fussy about tea they'd back off and assume hong kong landed gentry
niteowl: not ENOUGH asian
niteowl: HK landed gentry are really fucking abrupt, dismissive, bordering on arrogant, aloft in their own cloud of superiority
ralph: right. they also look kinda western because of a diet of clotted cream and scones fedexed from harrods
ralph: also, the bind their feet
ralph: wait.
niteowl: i think you're thinking of Indian landed gentry
betaray: that's quite a watch you've got there, full scientific calculator on that bad boy?
niteowl: that's a hardcore 10 dollar special from one of those sad, sad kiosks in the mall, manned by some former office drone who sunk 10k into what he thought was a chance to 'be his own boss' and 'harness his entrepereneurial spirit'.
niteowl: Accounts Receivables type people should never buy the first opportunity they find at the Franchise Fair 2009!!!

Pic Of Owl At Posh Restaurant Part 2

niteowl: and the old white guy in picture, kinda like, 'knew him' and talked to him by name and had that irksome, soul-gutting faux-buddy-buddy banter with the waiter that uppity-ups thinks makes them sound so down to earth
ralph: wow, that kind of stings niteowl
ralph: buddy
niteowl: pal

Live In Nurse

ralph: my gf is 25, I'm 38
ralph: maybe the Peterson family ages will NOT come up at dinner
niteowl: except when you have your nurse admistering pure oxygen on your portable gurney while you watch little bobby play little league

Wow, You Proved ME Wrong

ralph: this is a hell of a lot of fun, if http://linguafranca.mirror.theinfo.org/9810/zizek.html you've ever seen "The Pervert's Guide to Cinema"
niteowl: jesus ralph, just get an MFA already
ralph: : read, then judge, niteowl
niteowl: my MFA comment still stands "Zizek talks exactly as he writes, in a nonstop pastiche of Hegelian philosophy, Marxist dialectics, and Lacanian jargon leavened with references to film noir, dirty jokes, and pop culture ephemera."
ralph: although I skip the lacanian jargon--too many sa-signifiers and leaky referents as one considers the object through the eyes of the other

AWP

niteowl: "Said Le: "I hated how powerful snipers were in Counter-Strike. They really unbalanced the game."
niteowl: Minh Le, the co-creator of CS
gordonfrohman: I wonder if snipers unbalance things in war
gordonfrohman: like if any war ever ends because one side is like "Too many damn snipers, we quit. Fucking campr fags"

Speaking From Personal Experience

greenskpr: Pro tip: anything arborists wear/use/drive will last longer than any other shit you can find
spruce: what it mean, gusseted crotch?
JDHarper: it means it's all dressed up
Faux Real: that's gussied
cheesoning: there's another panel of cloth over the seams that keep the seams from tearing your taint.
spruce: handy
cheesoning: makes them stronger, too
spruce: why aren't all pants like that, as default?
greenskpr: gussy this.
cheesoning: some people enjoy the rubbing sensation

High Kick!

cheesoning: it's the brewery, and they have a typical, American menu
cheesoning: plus outstanding beers
greenskpr: kick inducing even?
cheesoning: nah, I only did that for the lulz. There was no real danger.
greenskpr: there was groin pull written all over it
cheesoning: dude, I'm fat, but limber.
niteowl: that sounds like the beginning of a rather colourful eHarmony page

The Boss

greenskpr: So in classic Flintstones form, last night the wife put an end to all my big handgun ideas in six words.
greenskpr: You're not getting a fucking gun
greenskpr: case closed
JDHarper: melee only household
cheesoning: I was going to guess "Do you like being married, jerk?"
greenskpr: that was next

Coping

Mainstrom: blah ive been off my antidepressants for a couple dyas because i have to get them refilled, and really feeling the pain now
greenskpr: seeya !
Mainstrom left the room (Disconnected).
cheesoning: whot
greenskpr: that blows
Faux Real: (mine have not even kicked in yet, but i already feel less grouchy)
cheesoning: mine are beer
ralph: mine are l4d and you fine people
greenskpr: Mine are furious masturbation with gloved weak hand

Life, Is A Game Of Inches

ralph: Faux: great safe room pep talk last night
ralph: took me back to the last time I wore a number on my chest
ralph: the miss preteen usa pageant
Faux Real: you cross dress as foreplay?
Faux Real: i thought i was the only one
ralph: Faux: "They are a good team, playing their best, and we're tied.
ralph: [paraphrase]
ralph: "we are not playing our best CATSTOPRUNNING--sorry. We are not playing our best..."

Dividing By Zero

Faux Real: everyone needs acceptance
betaray: and boundries
spruce: and those head-explodey collars they had in Running Man
greenskpr: And Logan's Run hand timers
Faux Real: don't you guys ever get tired of being jovial but jaded misanthropes?
cheesoning: what the fuck is a misanthrope?
cheesoning: is that literary for "fag"?
ralph: I hate misanthropes

High Brow to Football

JDHarper: if you think about it, there is no such thing as randomness
JDHarper: rolling a die is dependent on physics
Faux Real: are we going into dice theory now?
betaray: Are we going to get into a free will argument?
Faux Real: are we? are we?
cheesoning: Jesus decides if you win.
Faux Real: jesus wants everyone to win
cheesoning: this is another intersection with football, actually.
cheesoning: that's why all those guys point to the sky
betaray: I only point to the sky when I miss a catch
betaray: I'm like, "God did it!"
betaray: Lord's will that I suck at this game, sorry

It Was The Eye Contact

monitron: complaining about a particular wireless carrier is like being angry that you were chosen by the wrong rapist

Adam Smith Hoards Park Place

Faux Real: i can use economic theory to prove with out any doubt that playing monopoly is a mistake at all times

Bears have Bears

cheesoning: The Bears haven't had cheerleaders since George Halas died and his daughter took over.
spruce: they should have bears
spruce: as in the fat, hairy gay men
chris: or they can just pull big dudes from the audience, not tell them they're 'bears'
chris: and have them take their shirts off
chris: ... wait a few months...
chris: a little mental timebomb for 'em
niteowl: put on assless chaps

Noun Not Phrase

niteowl: what kind?
cheesoning: I'm gonna take a shot at Aryan blondies
niteowl: THE THING YOU BAKE
niteowl: not an action against Swedes

Warning! Sports Ahead!

chris: have a party at BJS' office
spruce: the bugs converge in the doughnut holes
Cyrano: wipe your dick on his keyboard.
chris: that could only be Cyrano. howdy!
Cyrano: HI!
chris: HI, DICK!
cheesoning: hunt and pecker
Cyrano: niteowl, cover your ears...
Cyrano: You know what makes Monday's worth getting up for? Sports Illustrated posting a picture gallery of the weekends NFL cheerleaders.
Cyrano: AND YET THE GALLERY IS NOT ONLINE YET!

Party Pooper

chris: well with your WINDOWS 7 HOUSEPARTY EDITION you can fix it!
cheesoning: now I'll format and start from scratch
cheesoning: fuck yeah!!
cheesoning: WOOP WOOP
cheesoning: ain't no party like a Windows 7 Edition House Party, because the Windows 7 Edition House Party goes
cheesoning: ALL NIGHT
chris: ... and that's just the install

STEAMPOWERED CAMCORDER

cheesoning: the other thing I read is that the sound sucks on all of them
cheesoning: which is kind of a big deal for me.
niteowl: well, i have a panasonic DVR with the 3 cmos etc etc
niteowl: for high quality video EVENTS
niteowl: birthdays, whathave you
cheesoning: a-ha
niteowl: but little tidbits here and again, it's a bit of a pain to Fire Up The Machine
niteowl: FIRE UP THE MACHIEN! REJIGULATE THE PARFULATORS! REDESCEND THE KLOCKPISSARIES!! COUNTERCALIBRATE THE ELECTRO-IMPULSE-MAGNETO DRIVES!!!!
niteowl: and that's just to get it to power on

Meme Callback

chris: exhausting weekend of moving... I need a weekend
niteowl: a weekend for your weekend
chris: seriously
betaray: do we need xzibit?

Don'tMakeAn"Oven"Joke Don'tMakeAn"Oven"Joke Don'tMakeAn"Oven"Joke Don'tMakeAn"Oven"Joke

cheesoning: what can I make?
niteowl: brownies,that's what i'm going for
niteowl: relatively simple, i think
cheesoning: I think I might make blondies. (Blonde version of brownies)
spruce: more Aryan that way
spruce: good on you
cheesoning: right
monitron: blondies are delicious
cheesoning: maybe I'll make blondies with two blue M&Ms

Hygeine Education

monitron: man i don't know how people get to be smelly. recently i had an insane week and didn't shower for like 6 days and still i verified using a number of people that I did not smell
niteowl: granted, you spent those six days under a crystal clear waterfall, BUT STILL
monitron: how is it that people smell so bad?
betaray: Who'd you have sniff you after a week?
betaray: and you're all, "Hey sniff my armpits, crack and sack real quick and let me know how pleasant it is?
monitron: my girlfriend, my mother, two of my kids, someone at work and a medium-good friend. wow, this sounds so sad
niteowl: the guy at the bus-stop; Hal, my favourite deli guy; Mrs. Smitty who delivers the weekly ad-packed regional newspaper; our district manager; Three small children who I helped across the street; a traffic cop; and a random collection of clergy men I happen to pass on the way to work.
monitron: i didn't have them get all up in my business. they were just sampling the ambient air in my vicinity. I figure if you get deep enough in anyone's cavities things will get odorous
betaray: I bet you changed your clothes
betaray: that's issue #1 in stinky people
monitron: indeed I did, all of them, daily. I see
betaray: and you probably wiped your ass at some point
monitron: regularly
niteowl: PRUDE
monitron: i'm beginning to understand

Top Hat & Monocle

spruce: Renn faire's are glorified malls, pretty much
spruce: or at least the couple I've been to are
Katya: if there were manly monocles they'd be all over it
Katya: funny satire site, same thing but top hats and monocles
Katya: people sitting around posing all hard wearing monocles and top hats
Katya: maybe with a chain watch
Katya: spinning it around
spruce: hello steampunk!
Katya: thats what i was thinking too, but you don't go full steampunk
Katya: just monocles and top hats
spruce: have some pictures of a guy chopping wood, shirtless, but wearing his tophat and monocle
spruce: some tools in the hatband
Katya: feeding a baby from his own breast.. in top hat and monocle

Utilikilt

monitron: i was at a concert Friday and rode in an elevator with a gentleman in a kilt. everyone in the elevator except me laughed hysterically as soon as he got off
liquidindian: I think the comic has won some sort of 'best indie' award or something.
liquidindian: Racists.
spruce: In the US, it's an affectation and a dorky one at that
Katya: was a utilikilt?
monitron: yeah.
Katya: they are super popular at dragoncon
spruce: did he have a ponytail too?
monitron: i guess prog rock concerts have some overlap with dragoncon
Katya: and maybe a pot belly?
monitron: you guys are 3 for 3
Katya: beard?
monitron: still batting 1000
Katya: shit i know this guy!

Ancestral Cravings

Katya: you aren't strictly british though are you? You're scottish. you eat fried mayonnaise sandwiches
bigjimslade: with lung chunks
betaray: mayonnaise from pureed organ meats
monitron: now I'm hungry

That Simile Doesn't Help At ALL.

liquidindian: Britain is technically Scotland, England & Wales.
liquidindian: But the British isles includes Ireland & N Ireland.
liquidindian: So if you're from the UK, you're a British Citizen.
monitron: this is all too much. I can't be.. what is it you guys say? "arsed?"
Katya: assed
monitron: i feel like i'm learning the hierarchy of polygons
monitron: but for countries

American-Irish

niteowl: so, i know everyone hates the English, but what do the scots think of the irish, and vice versa?
spruce: but they look the same as their robot selves in the ads, toupees aside
bigjimslade: we think they look funny in their skirts
bigjimslade: but they have the claymore, so it balances

So, Not Brightened At All Then

liquidindian: The brits look very British.
liquidindian: You can just tell it's kind of damp and grey outside.
betaray: they all have stiff upper lips
Katya: with only mayonnaise sandwiches to brighten the day

Pot, Kettle, Etc.

monitron: warning: the rightmost button (to the left of "ask" and "answer") on katya's yahoo answers link looks like a cock
monitron: if you have a particular kind of imagination
betaray: all I see is the word "discover"
betaray: is that what looks like a cock?
Katya: yes discover teh cock
bigjimslade: what, the `!`-like one?
monitron: yes, that
bigjimslade: sick bastard

Culinary Interpretations

Katya: tee hee!!!
liquidindian: I think we just eat crap.
Katya: you eat mayonnaise sandwiches
Katya: according to the UK photo
monitron: wait is that a sandwich with just mayonnaise and bread?
betaray: I guess you just make your mayo sandwiches at home
betaray: We go out to McD's to get ours on the "value" meal
monitron: that's a #9 combo with fried battered bacon crisps and a large pork drippings

I Gave Him An Out, Anyways

greenskpr: lyle greenswalker
greenskpr: lukes retarded 2nd cousin
niteowl: at least you didn't make out with your sister
greenskpr: says who?

Hipster : Opera, iCamera, Galifinakis

ralph: fails. Maybe it's an Opera/Flash thing
niteowl: christ, why do you insist on using the Total Hipster Browser?
ralph: mouse gestures. If I flip the bird it opens an email to you.
niteowl: you wear skinny jeans, dream of an MFA, and have a fixie, WE GET IT.
niteowl: you don't need to use mouse gestures, just do it IRL, i've hacked your iCamera
ralph: I'm sloppy, grumpy, got a gut and am twice the size of every hipster extant except Zach Galifinakis
niteowl: i have to do some eigenface maths to deblur the whole bit of tape you put over the opticsc, but the image comes out ok
stresstwig: i've always been curious as to if anybody has tried to hack an icamera
ralph: I only contemplate that immediately after ejaculation
niteowl: is that what you're doing.
niteowl: i didn't think anyone actually stroked their chin while thinking
niteowl: especially after stroking something else so soon before

Better Part of Crassness

bigjimslade: and apparently things going into her mouth
niteowl: where you go I will not follow
bigjimslade: coward
bigjimslade: though usually a good survival trait

Genuine Affection

ralph: mentlegen
chris: gen and tonic
niteowl: "that's not the only thing that arouses camels," ralph said He tried to get me to hand the reins over, but I just kinda backed slowly away, making sure to step over the inflatable and anatomically correct doll of Buster Keaton.
niteowl: OH HI ralph
ralph: if you're all done blowing frohman...
niteowl: you want him all to yourself, eh?

Columns of Goose-stepping Numbers

ralph: Apple support is racist as hell "Create an all-white application"
chris: whwhwhwhwwhwhahahahahahahahatatatatatatatatatat?
ralph: oh, you mean MS Excel?

Cupcakes

KatyaXP: when i was little i had dreams of just piles of cupcakes
stresstwig: invading your home town?
stresstwig: and the president being like
stresstwig: "little katya, only you can save us"
stresstwig: "you must devour these sentient piles of cupcakes"
betaray: "you're the only dude bad enough!"
niteowl: and the tiny cries from the cupcakes
KatyaXP: OM NOM NOM
niteowl: and the orphaned crumbs, wailing, waiting for their mommy cupcakes to come back and feed then and care for them
niteowl: and eat them too
KatyaXP: fuck them, they knew what they were getting into
KatyaXP: MY MOUTH
niteowl: mental note, KatyaXP is a hardass when it comes to sentient cupcakes
stresstwig: pretty soon you run into a sentient pile of cupcakes who has misgivings about the invasion
stresstwig: "I only was here on the science team...of sentient cupcakes. IT WAS THAT MILITANT CUPCAKE PILE THAT MADE IT GO ALL WRONG"

Beck is Like Really Good Cocaine

stresstwig: also every time i try to watch this glenn beck video my eyes kind of cross and I wake up with liquor in my hand

Grow

bigjimslade: the stuff that grows on Wonder bread
stresstwig: nothing grows on wonder bread
stresstwig: it's wonder bread
betaray: poor kids do

Lumberjack Code

betaray: So I have new found respect for lumber jacks
betaray: I was trying to dig up this stump in my front yard
niteowl: this is ALL CODE.
betaray: and I had to chop away some roots with my ax
betaray: and it totally destroyed me
itchy: were you spent afterwards?
betaray: totally, I needed to be cuddled in beards and flannel
itchy: how big circumference?
niteowl: girthy?
itchy: best thing to do is give a guy $100 to grind on it
itchy: that's what i did
betaray: the stump itself is about 2' across, but it's really several trunks grown together
niteowl: SEVERAL?!
niteowl: TWO FEET!?
betaray: It was mostly rotted out
niteowl: EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
niteowl: can't you get penicillin for them or something?
betaray: but all I was doing was severing the main roots
niteowl: OWOWOWOWOWOW
betaray: so I could dig it out
betaray: I was mostly successful, but I had to give up on the last section because I could barely swing my arm anymore
niteowl: WHY ARE YOU SWINGING YOUR ARMS AT IT!?
itchy: give it up
niteowl: not to betaray i won't
itchy: wait wait ... you haven't made a "wood" reference yet
betaray: I hope I have enough strength to operate my vehicle
itchy: why don't you get that gay lumberjack to drive you home?
betaray: niteowl: would you drive me home?
itchy: he's leaving you an opening
betaray: he always does :)
itchy: i think all canadians are also certified woodsman
chris: niteowl's a VERY well expererienced woodsman.
niteowl: especially when there are several trunks intertwining
itchy: we call that a sword fight here in the states

Blog Idea

stresstwig: i should play a game where i imagine conversations between artists who are alphabetically next to each other in my itunes library
stresstwig: biz markee and bjork
stresstwig: brand nubian and brian eno

Rotoscope

spruce: so did you guys have any t-shirt design ideas I could help with?
Cyrano: Can you tastefully illustrate NO FAT CHICKS?
stresstwig: how about a rotoscope of cyrano listening to trains on top of a building
Cyrano: there ya go.
stresstwig: and then it says 'brooklyn hights"

Spry

ralph: actually i did just doze
ralph: woke up surprised I'd been asleep
ralph: like an all nighter has no consequences to a 40yr old
Niteowl: yeah, if it would affect a 40 year old, i shudder to think what it'd do to you, ralph

Dreams

ralph: http://twitter.com/Pentadact/status/4349546504
Niteowl: he's one hard ass, isn't he?
***Niteowl stops writing 'Hallucinatonia : A Dreamy Dreamer's Hallucination on Dreaming'
Niteowl: 'A Novel'

More of a Passive Vigilance

Katya: god there is a organization called stop islamization of america?!
Katya: that must be the easiest fucking job in the world
Katya: you just sit around doing nothing and see how united states isn't being islamicized

Choices

spruce: so the people complaining about how their religious freedoms are being trod upon are now angry that other people get religious freedom too?
stresstwig: spruce you forgot that their's is the only real religion.
cheesoning: people forget why our forefathers came over here.
cheesoning: so we could practice whatever type of Christianity we choose

Thanks

Niteowl: oh man, my thank you history is a terrific chuck on the chin to my self esteem
Niteowl: then i realize it's about other nerds thanking me for referencing Star Wars or Dune or recalling that Rise of the Triad was the first (and last) FPS asian gangsta game
ralph: I've thanked niteowl 48 times. He's thanked me 42. Fuck you, Clown.
Niteowl: that much?
Niteowl: if i understood mroe of your references, i'm sure i woulda thanked you like.. way more
Niteowl: 44, say.

-ville

ralph: no I was nice to Rick
ralph: but I didn't want to be
ralph: and then I saw the humor and tried to join cyrano in ironic detachmentville
Niteowl: did you make it?
ralph: not qualified. I took a pic of him boring busi and sent it to busi while they were still talking.
Niteowl: or did you get waylaid at chagrinned dissappointment-opolis
ralph: mildlypeevishpassiveaggressionville
Niteowl: so
Niteowl: you didn't move at all
ralph: at any rate, it's a town in canada
Niteowl: you're implying you were born and bred in Canada, there Sparky?

Hated Words

ralph: MY suparprivate email addy has been invaded. First spam in three years I think.
Subject: Embarrassed with your lovestick size?

The tension in her twat will be almost unbearable and she going to like
it!
http://caeptq.yenzogsio.com/

ralph: oh no wait I ordered that
Katya: my twat's tension is subpar :(
Katya: anyone know where i can go ?
Katya: btw i hate that word
cheesoning: to h-e-double hockey sticks?
Katya: tension

Teak

ralph: not a bad way to spend the day
ralph: if it were "Walk once through Ikea and me and my girlfriends will all satisfy you" it wouldn't be worth it.
Cyrano: hey! most of my furniture is from Ikea! Swedish pine is the best some of us can afford, you snob.
spruce: Ikeas aren't so bad
ralph: it's the way you get trapped in there. I'm not a ...patient man.
Niteowl: i think ralph likes all his furniture 1) Teak 2) Waspy 3) Paid in CASH

Discourse

cheesoning: I built it all, but all the action I got was a chihuahua licking himself.
ralph: is spruce a fatty wood?
greenskpr: spruce has a fatty wood?
cheesoning: solid
spruce: ...
ralph: way to lower the level of discourse, greens. This is a classy room.
ralph: anyway, festering open diabetes foot sores...

Oh, There's a Fixie, Alright

Niteowl: http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/cas/1383180711.html
Niteowl: just, no, ralph
Niteowl: learn to use a goddamn allen wrench for pete's sake
cheesoning: but you know that's not ralph because there's no mention of a fixie.
Katya: "also please tell me what i should do to watch mad men correctly"
Niteowl: "must like the color 'tawny'"
spruce: "i'm interested in knowing what frame of mind, seating position, snacks and alertness levels will help maximise my enjoyment of this well-regarded program"

Bishts

ralph: http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/60595 ayrabs make unconvincing gangsters
ralph: lack of follow-through, attention to detail
ralph: inability to hold a grudge
ralph: also, you can't tape a suicide bomb behind a toilet tank and still make it to Sicily
Niteowl: fear of iconographic art
ralph: dislike of Cristal
Katya: pinstripe Bishts look stupid

Papist Meat

bigjimslade: I hear you Arabs all smell bad
ralph: "you smell like a christian" is an arab insult
bigjimslade: those papists and their soap
cheesoning: christian smells like meat and cheese. Not the worst thing.
ralph: muslims have to wash 5 times a day before prayers--christians smell like pork and booze in the hot sun

Career Motivations

betaray: Katya: yeah, they guy I saw today, his entire sole was like that, muscle bone, fat, all clearly visible, and ring by black tissue
Niteowl: there's a reason not everyone goes into health care, betaray
ralph: wow, sure like that bedsore pic. Now I'm gonna go kill myself with fire.
Niteowl: please stop bring the worst of it while you bask in the glory of applied compassion and heart-felt thanks

The Postman Only Knocks

cheesoning: your mom sounds hot
ralph: nice try.
cheesoning: sorry, BJS would usually chime in here
cheesoning: oof - ate way too much for lunch.
cheesoning: looking like a nap is in order
Cyrano: with monk's mom?
cheesoning: I'm worried about bigjimslade.
Cyrano: why?
cheesoning: that's lots of mom-baiting with no response
bigjimslade: heh I just sat down after getting a review
bigjimslade: your mom gives me really high marks
cheesoning: are you insinuating that she scratched your back?
bigjimslade: and my ankles, oddly enough
cheesoning: because I don't need to hear about it.
Niteowl: are you going to wait for the video replay

From Bad To Ugh.

cheesoning: realized that it could also be an Oprah inflection
betaray: Man, I wish I could show you guys this foot I saw today
cheesoning: NO
betaray: This guy's foot was so rotten from the bottom up that I could see his bones
cheesoning: NONONONO
gordonfrohman: guh
cheesoning: NOOOOOOOOOOO
cheesoning: plus, diabetic feet smell like crap and small animals try to eat them.
Cyrano: like Band of Brothers.
cheesoning: so if you have a dog and diabetes, all bets are off
betaray: but given I'd already seen the foot, so a 4" deep hole in someone's coccyx seemed like no big deal

A Mood

ralph: slightly befuddled and begrudgingly pleased with grotesque techno-luxury

Moms

ralph: email from my mom with pdf attachment:
"A warning about a virus and not a very nice one at that. Safe to open. Ma"
Niteowl: oh moms
Niteowl: they're always there to make you feel more streetwise and world-aware than you are
ralph: I sent back: Probably seismic activity. that's SAPS's way of telling us it doesn't know.
cheesoning: you should send her information about how if she gets enough people to sign a petition, she'll get money from microsoft
cheesoning: or if she has a party, she can get Windows 7 for free
ralph: She'll say you know your cousin Jim sold for amway and died broke
ralph: 25 yr old monk introduce 35-year old gf
ralph: mom's response: "You know your sister's sister-in-law Pat went through menopause at 38"
ralph: I think it was more a waspy version of "Yo you knock up that nasty skeeza and I will smack y'head."
Niteowl: ever since then, ralph has hooked up with 23 year olds, and dumped them before they hit y old quarter century

He Just Skims

KatyaXP: glenn beck trying to define "white culture"
betaray: or refusing
KatyaXP: oh you've seen it
KatyaXP: JERK
betaray: I've read the entire internet already
betaray: I'm just waiting for updates now

Wait, I Have Notes

ralph:
"The Maiden Heist
High-profile talent: Morgan Freeman, Christopher Walken, William H. Macy, Marcia Gay Harden

This $20 million heist comedy can boast a raft of highly-awarded stars, but one thing it doesn’t have is a theatrical release. Instead, it’s going straight-to-DVD next month thanks to bankrupted producer Bob Yari (Crash). When Yari’s independent distribution unit imploded last year, he tried to find a studio who’d pick up Maiden Heist, but none bit (not helping matters was his early decision to sell off ancillary rights to Sony, since no studio wanted to take a chance on an adult-targeted comedy without DVD and pay-TV profits down the line)."
ralph: dumb fuck
ralph: the thing can be profitable with dvd foreign and pay-tv before it hits theaters
ralph: ya take GROSS POINTS AND PAY OUT ONLY ADJUSTED GROSS TO THE TWO OR THREE BANKABLE NAMES YA GOTTA PAY AND HANG ON I'M GOING INTO A TUNNEL==

Sure, Fight Global Warming, But It's SO CROWDED.

gordonfrohman: I was out on a jobsite most of the day
gordonfrohman: in Davis
gordonfrohman: the first US city to have bike lanes
gordonfrohman: and perhaps the most annoying city and college campus to drive in because THERE ARE BIKES EVERYWHERE
gordonfrohman: I'm all for the environment, but man, they're overdoing it a bit
gordonfrohman: I can't even imagine people on bikes enjoying it, because there's just a billion other people in bikes
gordonfrohman: it's like hiking. I like that, but not if there are 800,000 other people stomping on my toes and jabbing me in the ribs
Katya: don't go to amsterdam
Katya: its LOUSY with bicycles
Niteowl: tour de france must PISS you the hell off