ralph: my dad is stuck in london
ralph: he's been calling me every hour
ralph: so each time he calls I give him a different grounding-related piece of advice
ralph: Dad, listen, when the planes start flying again, don't eat the food
ralph: because it will have been sitting at Gate Gourmet for a week
ralph: Dad, listen, glad you called
ralph: Don't go to Wilton tomorrow, the oysters will be antique
ralph: they fly em in, you know
ralph: dad, great--they sent the airport custodians home so the germs are gonna grow out of control at heathrow and on the planes. don't touch any surfacesralph: he'll be on a boat tomorrow.
Cyrano: tramp steamer, bitches.
ralph: it's how he got here originally
ralph: or so he claims
ralph: in reality he arrived first class on a cruise ship
ralph: a present from his grandmother
ralph: weaksauce immigrant