Slim Jims?

Cyrano: it's a meat-like product, yes.
spruce: like processed jerky
stresstwig: it kind of wants to be beef jerky
stresstwig: in the same way balogna wants to be real meat
spruce: imagine a hot dog, mummified and elongated
liquidindian: Okay.
liquidindian: Something you might feed a dog, right?
liquidindian: Or, indeed, an American.
stresstwig: wait back up I was too busy eating canned beans on toast
stresstwig: savage.
Cyrano: it's not like a drew up a menu. I had a few slim jims left over from... something. Then I ate some peanut butter. Then I was full. ta da! Dinner.
spruce: I'd like to see such a menu
spruce: written in crayon, stained with tears
chrisd: it's gourmet if you cut everything up small.
stresstwig: some see through grease spots
spruce: so you didn't use the slimjim as a utensil for dipping and scraping peanut butter?
Cyrano: oh no. they were two separate courses.
spruce: I was picturing some sort of misbegotten lik-a-maid operation